In my last blog post, I talked about doing some detective work to find your particular spending patterns. This would help you to develop spending control strategies that match up.
But, what if, despite your best efforts, you find it almost painful to give up the dopamine charge one gets from shopping? Suppose you are having a really hard time controlling your spending?
First, and probably most important – self compassion. No shame, no guilt! You are not bad, or selfish, or irresponsible. You are, in fact, dealing with a neurological difference that causes you to be motivated by what interests you (yup, that’s ADHD). Giving up that immediate dopamine hit is HARD! So give yourself kudos for trying, not thumbs downs for failing.
Plus evidence shows us that exercising self compassion actually helps us to accomplish our goals faster than being negative towards ourselves. Makes sense, when you think about it – who would want to pursue a goal that results in feeling badly about ourselves?
Second, it can be helpful to put some small, one size fits all strategies in place to get things moving. Here are some tiny tweaks you can make to get the spending control ball rolling in an ADHD compassionate way:
- Make a list of small things to buy that can make you happy – Can buying a new nail polish color scratch the itch of wanting to shop? I know I can go to any Staples and feel joy by purchasing new Post-Its. The idea is to own your dopamine chasing, but keep a lid on how much you spend to do so.
- Secondhand/thrift store, Free Cycle – My daughter-in-law is the queen of Goodwill shopping. She can spend hours looking for deals, and always walks out of the store with a designer outfit that costs her next to nothing. The thrill of the hunt! Also, if you have a Free Cycle in your town, it is a great way to “shop,” with all merchandise costing zero. Free dopamine!
- Make controlling spending fun! – Partner up with a friend, for accountability and cheerleading. Tally up all of the times you DON’T buy something. Make up a rap or poem to remind you of your non-spending goal. Getting that dopamine in other ways!
- Unsubscribe from shopping emails – this is SO effective! If you need something, you will be able to get it, without the help of the thrice daily emails. And I get that little dopamine push every time I see “you are now unsubscribed.” Win/win!
All of the above strategies can work for pretty much anyone. Remember, though, that the most effective way to control spending is to understand the B and the E in B.E.A.S.T. – background and emotions. Armed with that information, you will be unstoppable!
PS – Want a copy of my “Strategies To Control Spending?” You can find it here, free! http://digioh.com/em/33248/200557/j9j2ny23pd