Gas prices are skyrocketing. Actually all prices are climbing. And with that, our spending is rising daily.
We know we should “tighten our belts” (btw, I hate that expression – tightening your belt sounds so uncomfortable), But, what do we do if ADHD makes it so, so difficult to gain control of our money? And how do we deal with the guilt, shame, and fear that we feel when we can’t do so?
Let’s first briefly discuss WHY ADHDers have trouble controlling spending. First, buying things can make us happy. It can be a high dopamine activity, which, since ADHDers have low dopamine levels, is something we might seek out. Until the guilt kicks in. But then, we may double down to feel good again – retail therapy, am I right? This treadmill, which I call the ADHD Spending Cycle, can be difficult to jump off of.
Add in the impulsivity of ADHD, which causes action before reflection. Now we have a killer recipe for overspending, feeling out of control, getting into hot water with credit card companies and the IRS…the list goes on and on.
So…what do we do?? How can ADHDers successfully get a grip on spending??
Usually, when using my B.E.A.S.T. Method of ADHD Friendly Financial Control, I would start with the B – background. However, I’d like us to gain some traction during this chaotic time. I’m going to suggest we jump to the E and A – emotions and actions/avoidance.
It’s time for you to be a detective.
For the next five days, take note of your spending, in terms of what you are doing, and how you are feeling. So, for example, last night I was scrolling the internet, and almost bought a new pair of pants. I was feeling excited to buy them for a trip I’m taking, but also was bored while watching TV. And I was lying around while doing it.
The more we can learn about what we are doing and feeling while spending, the more easily we can see patterns. This helps us to develop better strategies to counteract our actions.
So, in the example above, maybe I should be doing my crocheting while watching TV, instead of looking for things to buy. Also, making a list of what I need for my trip can guide me as to whether I actually need something new.
See how that works?
Also, I can use a few other strategies – ones that you might find useful, and can put into practice right now:
- Build in a way to change your mind – Leave items in the cart for 48 hours; leave tags on so items can be returned easily.
- Find other ways to curate items – Make an Amazon list; Pinterest; bookmarks.
- Budget a small amount for discretionary spending – In other words, scratch that itch, but in a controlled way.
There are countless other ways to get a grip on spending, but their effectiveness relies on knowing what is driving it.
You may feel embarrassed, or fearful, when studying yourself. So I’m going to flip the script on this. You can feel PROUD that you are working on your spending patterns. And knowing the enemy, whether it’s impulsivity or dopamine chasing, makes you MORE POWERFUL.
You can do this! More strategies next time!!
PS – Here is a link to a spreadsheet to help you take note of your spending, actions, and emotions, including an example! https://digioh.com/em/33248/200393/47wv8xr54d?demail=(email)