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Tag: procrastination

ADHD Friendly Prime Days Picks!!

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It’s that time once again – Prime Days (July 8 – 11) are right around the corner! Here are my favorite ADHD friendly or supportive items for this year. Happy Shopping!!

Dry Erase Write On Dice Set

These dice are 2” x 2”, and you can write on them and then erase them. Why do I love these? These can be used in so many ways! You can write different chores on them, and have your kids roll the dice to see what they need to do first. Homework subjects? Morning or evening routine? We know that gamifying tasks make them so much more appealing to ADHDers, and these dice can make that happen super easily! https://amzn.to/3I65kki

Soundcore Active Noise Canceling Headphones and EarFun Noise Canceling Earbuds

You know how it goes. You finally sit down to get some work done, get started, and then you can’t help but hear the neighbors splashing in their pool. Mission aborted! Noise cancelling headphones and earbuds keep those shouts (and other noises) at bay, allowing you to concentrate on the task at hand, as opposed to how annoying the person in the next cubicle is being. These are the New York Times Wirecutter’s most recently recommended noise cancelling headphones and earbuds, in the budget category. The headphones adapt to your environment; the earbuds detect the shape of your ear canals, for maximum performance. Technology for the win! Headphones:  https://amzn.to/4lz2Xoh

Earbuds:  https://amzn.to/3TrtEiV

Raymnie Analog Clock for Kids (and adults too!)

Studies show that well over half of kids 6 – 12 do not know how to tell time on an analog clock. While this may not sound like a big deal – digital clocks are everywhere – it does impact the understanding of time passing. Without the movement of clock hands through the hour, the opportunity to see and feel time is missed. This is a serious omission for ADHDers, for whom time blindness is a real issue. While a timer can be very helpful, seeing time on a continuum really starts to strengthen this challenged executive function. This clock helps with learning to tell time, with an outer circle that delineates the minutes in the hour. And it’s colorful, which ADHDers love!  https://amzn.to/44tXpEO

“The ADHD Productivity Manual,” Ari Tuckman, PsyD

If you’ve ever heard Dr. Tuckman speak (and if you haven’t, I urge you to do so if you get the opportunity), you know that he is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD, and he has a plethora of practical strategies that he conveys in a clear and engaging manner. His latest book, “The ADHD Productivity Manual,” follows the same recipe. Easy to read and follow, great ideas to try out. Highly recommended!  https://amzn.to/46doKOf

Echo Dot Kids

If you haven’t already welcomed an Echo Dot (or another brand of smart device) into your home, let me stop here to say, where have you been?? It feels like these devices are built with ADHDers in mind, allowing you to set timers, get reminders, find out the weather, ALL BY JUST SPEAKING! Taking away that step of having to find paper and pen, or worse, pulling out your phone…oh wait, let me just look at Instagram for a minute…yeah, without THAT. AND there is a cute Echo Dot for kids! They can tell Alexa their morning routine, and Alexa can keep your kiddo on track. Homework help, audiobooks, everything with parental controls. Oh, and did I mention that you can have Mickey Mouse remind your child to brush their teeth, or Olaf can read them a story? All in all, it’s a great way to encourage your child’s independence while still giving them a safety net, and also teaching them how to accommodate their ADHD.  https://amzn.to/4lI77dU

Sukuos AM PM Weekly Pill Organizer

Finally, I wanted to include this pill organizer because I have one, and it has really been helpful. Asking myself “did I take my meds today?” and being afraid to double up, so possibly skipping altogether, had gotten very old.  And with this pill organizer, there’s no more taking the PM meds in the AM, or vice versa. There is plenty of room, which is helpful when you take vitamins or other supplements. And the AM and PM can be separated, making it easy to throw your AM meds into your gym bag while leaving your PM meds on the nightstand. https://amzn.to/4nvDsWK

Are there any items that you would like to recommend? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

The Power of “Job Talk” For Adults

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After many years of on and off cigarette smoking, I was finally able to quit for good in February 2017. At the same time, I began running, and actually ran, and finished, my first half marathon in October 2017. Running was just something I did – not that  important, except when training for a race.

Fast forward a few years, to a long overdue check up. As the nurse took my pulse, she looked puzzled. She took it again, and shaking her head, said “your pulse is so low for someone your age.” At which point, I said, “I’m a long distance runner,” and it all suddenly made sense.

Just saying those words, “I’m a long distance runner,” changed so much for me. This isn’t just something I do, it’s part of who I am. Just thinking about that, on days I want to roll over and go back to sleep instead of putting in 8 miles, gets me to push off the covers and get moving.

And when runs, or races, don’t go the way I hope, it’s easier to deal with, because ups and downs are part of being a runner. The longevity implied by being, rather than doing, allows for success and failure, along a continuum.

Many – MANY – ADHDers struggle with task initiation, procrastination, and task avoidance. While this can be attributed, in part, to weak executive functions, and can, in part, be supported by a variety of strategies, there is also the cyclical shame and anxiety associated with these challenges. We can’t get started, so our work might be late or not as solid as it could be, which causes anxiety (“What if I can’t ever get this done?” shame (“I should be able to do this, why can’t I??”). Who wants to go through that over and over? Isn’t avoidance easier? (Ultimately we know the answer to that is no, but in the moment, that avoidance of shame and guilt is all we can handle).

How about approaching tasks slightly differently?

Kristen Jacobsen CCC/SLP, and Sarah Ward CCC/SLP propose using what they call “job talk” with kids. Rather than “Write this essay,” they suggest the declarative “We are essay writers,” claiming that using this format helps to activate non-verbal working memory and procedural memory, creates structure, and limits emotional reactions. Research has also been conducted on adult responses. When comparing reactions between “being a voter” (personal identity) and “voting” (behavior),it was found that the personal-identity phrasing significantly increased interest in registering to vote.

So how do you put this into action? 

You can be very broad about this, as I was with “I am a long distance runner.” However, if starting on a specific task is alluding to you, that can be the basis of your statement. “I am a job searcher,” “I am a kitchen organizer,” “I am a proposal writer.” Does that feel different to you? Do you start to imagine what that means? Prior thinking about your role is a mental dress rehearsal, which is a very powerful tool.

So – be a job talker today. And I’ll be a long distance runner. Let’s see how far we can get.

PS – Next post – calling tasks what they really are…to us (bad language included).

Resources:

Bryan, C. J., G. M. Walton, T. Rogers, and C. S. Dweck. “Motivating Voter Turnout by Invoking the Sense of Self.” Proceedings of The National Academy of Sciences 108.31 (2011).

Kristen Jacobsen and Sarah Ward. “360 Thinking: Breakthrough Strategies to Develop Independent Executive Function Skills.” (2023).

Back At It

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The last time I wrote a blog post was November 4, 2024. 

It would sound so legit if I were to say that so many earth shattering things had occurred in my life, I just didn’t have an extra second to devote to blogging. Or that I’d found someone who said they would write the blog for me, and then they absconded with their payment, and didn’t write a thing. Drama always distracts from the facts.

But in reality, and truthfully…I just wasn’t feeling it. Since I am my own boss, the urgency level is determined by me. It’s super easy to tell my employee (me) “oh, that’s not really a priority right now.” Just because it’s something I wasn’t in the mood to do.

Sound familiar?

We all have those tasks that we can convince ourselves really aren’t important, or are just not important at the moment. Often, and not so coincidentally, these are the things that we also don’t feel like doing. Plus with ADHD, importance doesn’t have the same power that it does for neurotypicals. If you’ve ever struggled to start on your taxes, you know what I’m saying.

So how did I get back to my laptop and start writing a blog post? Here are a couple of strategies that helped.

1 – Discard embarrassment – we can get completely stuck by being concerned with what others will think. The reality is, it’s pretty unlikely that anyone cares enough to be thinking “Oh, here’s Annette’s blog. She’s really been slacking off on this.” If someone actually has noticed that my blog has been on an unannounced hiatus, that might mean they actually read it, which would be a positive!

2 – Find value in the task – A potential client, when contacting me to set up a Discovery Session, said that he gets my “newsletter.” This was a solid indicator that the blog was having a direct impact on my business. Seeing what it is about this task that will make your life easier or better in some way can nudge you towards getting started, or in my case, re-started.

3 – INCUP – According to Dr. Thomas Brown, ADHD brains are interest based (anyone who has spent hours absorbed in learning about something relatively obscure can attest to this). Therefore, per Dr. Brown, motivation for ADHDers comes from interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, or passion (otherwise known as INCUP).”Sure,” you say,”that works great when it’s something I find compelling. But how about something I’m just not into?” The trick is to turn the task into something that has at least one of the INCUP motivators going for it. In my case, I went for novelty by body doubling with a friend to write my first blog post of 2025. I added in some urgency by telling my body doubling partner what I was going to be working on, inserting some accountability into the equation. I could’ve tried a challenge, and seen how quickly I could get a post done. Or passion, by first making a list of blog posts I’d be excited to write.

4 – Rewards – there are many things I might want to do this afternoon instead of writing this blog post. So I will let myself do them – after the post is written.

All in all, writing this blog post felt very comfortable for me. And I was able to get it done, using the strategies above.

Welcome back to me!

My Prime Days Picks For ADHDers!

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Prime Days are here! (July 16 and 17). Here are some products that I think are great for ADHDers and people with executive function struggles. Many are kid related – back to school is not too far away – but a few are for adults and/or kids. Happy Shopping!

POPRUN Magnetic Weekly Dry Erase Calendar

What makes this particular dry erase calendar a favorite? I love that you can write in the times of day on the left side. This enables you, and your family, to see exactly how the day will look. Dentist from 3pm to 4pm? It’ll be blocked out. White space? Ah, that’s free time! Helping those with time blindness actually see time is such a benefit. https://amzn.to/4bLKFLe

Essex Wares Classroom Pocket Chart

I’m harkening back to my teaching days to recommend this pocket chart. This is a great tool to use for morning or evening routines – list the steps (or better yet, take pictures of your child completing the steps), and when they finish each task, they can turn the card over. Kind of low tech, I know, but that tactile zing one gets when turning over that card is very satisfying! Adults can use it too, it’s great for tasks with a few or several steps that are completed (when we remember) over time – yes, laundry, I’m looking at you! https://amzn.to/3zKojwq

Storage Cubes with Windows and Hooks

And speaking of laundry…it’s possibly the biggest challenge I come across the most with my clients. Hate doing it, hate starting it, can’t move clothes from washer to dryer….and the biggest issue, putting the clothes away. I’m a big believer in making the system work for you, not the other way around. So, two ideas: first, put hooks in your closet, and use them for items that you’d like hung up, but loathe the thought of putting them on hangers. And second, does everything need to be folded? Nope! Underwear, socks, maybe tee shirts and workout clothes, can all just be tossed into one of these fabulous storage cubes. The window lets you see what lives there. It also enables a heads up as to when you are running out of underwear.  https://amzn.to/4cIbAJp https://amzn.to/3LohhAb

Weewooday Cube 15-20-30-60 Flip Timer

A fun variation on the kitchen timer, this flip cube gives you four minute options. Just flip it to the time you want, and off it goes. Great for “Can I have 15 more minutes, Mom?” as well as “I need to leave in 30 minutes.” Comes in several colors, I just like the pink 🙂  https://amzn.to/4f5Tker

Kick Bands

These bands are awesome for kids – and adults – who are more focused when they are performing some type of movement (studies have shown this to be an effective strategy for ADHDers). Simply place the band around the legs of any chair, and you’ve created a spot for quiet, unobtrusive foot bouncing. These have been used in classrooms for ages. Is it time to get some for homework time? Or meal times? https://amzn.to/3xPYb2O 

Blue Ginkgo Multipurpose Caddy Organizer

While it’s helpful for your child to have a specific area in which to do homework (or for you to have a home office that you can use consistently), there are times when a refresh can be helpful (she says as she types this in her husband’s office). Having the basic supplies in a caddy that can be carried easily makes that transition from the bedroom to the kitchen table quick and painless…with less time to get distracted. https://amzn.to/4d3lyVn

Paperage Lined Journal Notebook
Last but not least, a reasonably priced lined notebook. This can be used for…anything, really. A bullet journal, to do list, doodling space, gratitude journal, meeting notes. I have one that I use as a gratitude journal, and one that I use as my brain dump, a parking lot for everything in my head until I move it to my more actionable task app. Comes in tons of colors, the paper is smooth, and at this price, no guilt if you change up your task management plan. https://amzn.to/3xZg8f9 

What items do you find are indispensable? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

Quit “Shoulding” On Yourself!

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How often do you think that you should be able to accomplish a particular task? Or that you should do….insert activity that might be good for you but that you don’t currently do?

Here are some examples:

I should be able to figure out my monthly expenses, what is wrong with me?

I should go to the gym more, what is wrong with me?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I should be able to remember something that simple, what is wrong with me?

My mentor coach would call this “shoulding on yourself.” 

The word should, per the Oxford English Dictionary, is “used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.” In other words, should is a judgment word. To “indicate…correctness” implies that if you don’t do what you should, you are incorrect. In the wrong. Even the definition tells us it’s used typically to criticize.

And for ADHDers, there can be lots of shoulds. And lots of self criticism.

But wait a minute, you say. Aren’t there things we really should do?

Of course there are. We should drive sober. We should pay our taxes. We should call our mothers on Mother’s Day, and dads on Father’s Day.

So when SHOULD we use should? And when is should akin to a four letter word?

The way I look at it is this: I feel that should can be reserved for absolutes. For rules, laws, socially acceptable customs – in other words, situations where there is no judgment involved, because it’s pretty black and white.

But when it’s not a rule, using should kind of makes it a rule. And then if we don’t do something, we’ve broken that rule-and we go down the rabbit hole of shame.

How about, when it’s not a rule, we use “want?” Let’s try it.

I want to be able to figure out my monthly expenses, but I’m not sure how. Maybe I’ll ask someone for help.

I want to go to the gym more, what can I do to get there consistently?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I want to be able to remember something that simple. What can I do to make this happen?

“Should” makes it a rule, and invites embarrassment and shame. “Want” makes it a desire, and invites action.

So here’s a little assignment: try to notice when you say you should do something. And if you do catch yourself, replace should with “want to,” and see how different that vibe is.

It will probably make you want to stop shoulding all over yourself!

How Body Doubling Is Changing My Life!

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That sounds awfully dramatic, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth!

I have a project that has been sitting on my back burner for so long, it’s blending in with the decor. It’s a terrific project, a great idea, something that, if I can get it off the ground,will enable me to help people make major positive changes in their lives…

But, there it sits.

And the thing is, I already started it, awhile back. So it’s not about starting this project, and feeling overwhelmed. It’s about starting AGAIN.

It’s that same feeling you get when you’ve been going to the gym consistently, and then life happens, and you miss one workout, and another, and another. It’s almost harder to go BACK to the gym than it was to start in the first place.

What’s up with that?

When we are starting something new, there’s excitement. There’s anticipation. Using the gym example, there are so many possibilities-feeling great, looking chiseled, meeting new people.

But that excitement isn’t really there when we go BACK to something we’ve done in the recent past. Sure, we know it’s a good idea, we looked and felt much better when we were working out often, but it’s really hard to drum up that “new” feeling that kicks our enthusiasm-and our dopamine-up several notches.

And that’s exactly what I have run into with my project. I know it’s a great idea, but I also can’t garner that “Yahoo!” feeling. The newness isn’t there. Plus I also know about the downside-that I actually have to do work to make it happen!

Enter body doubling. Body doubling is when we work alongside someone, as opposed to with them. It is a great way to keep working-you’re not going to start playing on your phone when you’ve committed to working and your body double can see you. So it works fantastically well for distractions.

But as an incentive to start a task? Yup!

A friend offered to body double with me while I work on this project. She had some work to do as well, so we would both benefit.

And suddenly, the newness was there! I was going to work with my friend! And be able to share my progress! 

This new twist made all the difference.

So far, we’ve body doubled once, and now, I’m working away on my project even when she’s not around, so I can tell her how far I’ve come since I saw her last. Accountability is built into the process, along with having a work buddy.

Now, there is actually hope of completing this project in the foreseeable future, which could really be a game changer for me, and others. 

The project is off the back burner. In fact-it’s got a hell of a fire under it. Thanks to body doubling.

If you are interested in body doubling with me, you can register for my weekly Monday afternoon sessions-FREE! Here’s the link:  https://calendly.com/constellationadhdcoach/body-doubling

The One Hack You’re Probably Ignoring To Get Things Done

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ADHDers don’t just love novelty – they need novelty. If something isn’t interesting, or new, or about to burst into flames, it’s just not on the ADHDer radar.

So when boring tasks need to be tackled-folding laundry, sending thank you notes, responding to emails, paying bills-the neurodivergent ADHD mind says “No thank you. That is incredibly dull, so I’ll just ignore it.” Which can cause a whole big set of problems.

The solution is to turn boring jobs into…less boring jobs. Finding ways to have cleaning the kitchen become even the slightest bit enticing. Because once we start, we most likely will keep going, right? 

There are many ways to add some spice to tedious chores. Put on music. Watch TV. Listen to an audiobook or podcast. Promise yourself you will work for five minutes and then take a break.

But there’s one hack that you, as a responsible adult type, are probably turning up your nose at. And you shouldn’t.

It’s gamifying.

“Sure,” you say, “I gamify tasks for my kids all the time. They’re kids though!”

I’m here to say it-gamifying is for adults too. It is the secret sauce that makes an otherwise deadly dull task-dare I say it-fun. Which means you’re more likely to actually do it.

Here are a few ideas on how to gamify grown-up jobs:

Beat the Clock – Set a stopwatch, and see how long it takes you to empty that dishwasher. Write it down, and then see if you can beat it next time. Turn it into a family competition-give those kiddos a reason to help out with chores!

Snowball Fight – can be played alone, or with others. On small strips of paper, write down each task you need to accomplish that day. Crumple each up one, and throw them into the air! Then pick one up, and complete it. And another, and another.

Trashketball – works for anything involving paperwork. When you have read/dealt with any paper, crumple it up and try to toss it into your trash can from a distance. Keep track, and reward yourself after 5 baskets.

Card Catalog – For jobs with several steps, write each step on an index card. Then, write 1-5 prize cards that say “take a break” or “dance to one song” – whatever works for you. Insert the prize cards randomly into the deck, and when you hit one of those cards, follow the directions. The anticipation will keep you going! This is also a fun one for family chores.

“But wait,” you say, “I’m going to feel really silly doing this.”

Yup, you might. But you know what won’t feel silly? Getting things done. That’ll feel great. And I truly believe, we could all use a drop more silliness in our lives.

So get a little goofy. And get that stuff done.

This Can Help You Win The Fight Against Procrastination!

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Procrastinating. We all do it – it’s not just a neurodiverse activity. It’s just that ADHDers seem to do it more often.

Choosing to delay action, even though this delay will have negative consequences, is the working definition of procrastination. So, for example, putting off paying my bills is a form of procrastination, because I know that if I pay late, I will have to pay interest, and late fees. Yet I still choose to put it off, because ugh, bills.

There are many reasons we procrastinate – fear of doing the task incorrectly, lack of interest (and therefore no dopamine hit), needing “just right” circumstances, disorganization, feeling overwhelmed…the list goes on.

Is there anything can we do to successfully battle procrastination??

Enter Piers Steel, and the Procrastination Equation. Steel developed this equation to explain the components of motivation:

Motivation = Expectancy X Value/Impulsiveness X Delay

So, being a former Math teacher, I’m kind of partial to equations…but that’s me.  Before you shriek “I hate Math!” and run away, let me try to translate this. What Steel is saying is how motivated you are depends on four components: expectancy, or how confident you are that you can complete the task; value, or how important completing the task is to you; impulsiveness, or how easily you can be distracted from the task; and delay, or how short or long the timeline is.

So, in order to increase motivation, per Steel’s equation, you need to increase confidence or importance, or decrease distraction or the timeline, in order to increase motivation.

Here is an example to make this even clearer.

Let’s go back to my procrastination relating to paying my bills. If I can increase my confidence that I can pay my bills correctly, and/or feel the value to me of paying them, I will be more motivated. So, using autopay can help me to feel confident, and recognizing how good it feels to have it done raises the value of doing the task.

Decreasing distractions, and shortening the timeline can also help curb procrastination. So I can pay my bills with my phone in Focus mode, and can break the task into smaller parts so that I have a “completion” more often.

What I love about this is that it’s ACTIONABLE. There are four different areas where you can make changes, and motivation will increase. This equation gives you a starting point.

Think about something that you have procrastinated on in the past, or are even avoiding right now. Can you make a change to one of the four components in Steel’s equation that will help lessen your desire to put something off? Even just tweaking one component-promising yourself a treat if you start the task will add some value, right-can make a difference.

I’m off to pay my bills. I’ll let you know how I do.

Perfectly Imperfect

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“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

When I first saw this quote from one of my favorite authors, it really hit me between the eyes. I’m sure there are many interpretations of it, but to me, it meant that now that so much energy and worry and thought didn’t have to go into perfection, one could actually just be good enough. And that’s okay.

Many ADHDers struggle with perfectionism-something that those who don’t have a personal knowledge of ADHD probably find counterintuitive. How could anyone who can’t/won’t/doesn’t pay attention/do things on time/stay organized actually care about being perfect??

But in reality, all of those years of mistakes, and late assignments, and impulsive actions can add up to a lot of fear and anxiety that is expressed as perfectionism.

This tendency can lead to procrastination, feelings of failure that then cycle into more perfectionism, and just a general lack of motivation and positivity. Because if your standard is that you must be perfect, who wouldn’t dread attempting a task??

In other words, perfectionism is bad for your health, mental and otherwise.

So, how to break that pattern? Here are some ideas:

1 – Develop Mantras – “Done is better than perfect” or “Good enough is good enough” are two ideas. Practice repeating these to yourself; also pop them on a Post-It on your laptop or desk, and other places you can see it.

2 – Use a timer – For tasks that should be simple to complete (writing an email, wrapping a gift) determine how much time it should take (perhaps time it once before using this strategy), and set a timer. When the timer goes off, it’s time to stop.

3 – Keep a “done” list – keeping a list of what you were able to accomplish makes you feel good. Bonus points for things that were complete, but they weren’t 100% perfect.

4 – Name your Perfectionism – find a shorthand way to name your perfectionism, so that you can easily become aware of being held hostage by it. Awareness is the first step to change! It’s also fun to say “Shut up, Penelope Perfect” when you’re hearing that voice in your brain.

5 – Practice doing things imperfectly – no, I’m not saying ruin all of your clothes by washing your wool sweaters in hot water. But little things-leaving autocorrected texts alone, sending an email without re-reading it more than once, quickly-and seeing that the world doesn’t end when you do that, can be a good way to get accustomed to imperfections.

It’s not easy to break the perfectionism habit. Your brain has been telling you that everything must be just so for a long time. It takes time and practice, so be gentle and patient with yourself. Getting to the point where you can giggle a little at your perfectionism seems to be a place to aim for.

Because, as Steinbeck said, now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.