We are in the midst of the holiday season-which, by the way, seems to have started in September, but I digress-and with every gift we purchase, every party we attend, many of us can’t help just raining down criticism. On ourselves.
“They’re going to know I didn’t spend a lot. Why didn’t I save more for gifts? Why can’t I control my finances? What is wrong with me??”
“If I could only get organized, I wouldn’t be shopping at the last minute. I’m just a mess!”
“I can see that they hate my gift. If I could only pay attention better, I would’ve had a clearer idea of what to get them. They must think I just don’t care!”
And on. And on. And on.
It’s not just ADHDers who have this anti-self patter reverberating in our brains-neurotypicals are prone to it as well, especially during high pressure moments. But for ADHDers, the negativity is often a way of life, with negative messages shooting like arrows at them since their youth.
How about giving yourself a little gift this holiday season? How about letting yourself off the hook?
When you start to think, “wow, I just suck,” how about a little self compassion?
So you didn’t save more for gifts. Okay, maybe that’s something to work on. But the fact is-you’re giving gifts. Which is a really nice thing to do.
You’re shopping last minute. But hey-you’re getting some great markdowns!
They might not like your gift. But you did give something-again, very nice. Next time, maybe a gift card?
You get the idea.
And while you’re at it-maybe let your spouse, children, or parents off the hook, just for a bit.
It might be the best gift you ever give to them, or to yourself.
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy 2024!!