The blizzard of ‘26 is upon us. Dare I say, we in the Northeast are winter weary.
And if I think I have it bad, it is nothing compared to parents who are dealing with bored kids. Kids who are over playing in the snow and sledding, who can’t get to their friends’ houses, and who are downright cranky.
What is a parent to do? How can moms and dads of ADHD kiddos deal with the lack of structure that ultimately is the undoing of their children, and therefore, of themselves?
The answer is: create a structure. A loose one, allowing for the wonder of a snow day (which, despite being tired of snow, kids still will jump up and down for). But a framing of the day is necessary.
Kids with ADHD often have non-verbal working memory issues. That means that they have difficulty keeping directions and steps in mind; they have challenges when planning their actions. You’ve probably seen this, in the morning or at bedtime, when your kiddo just stops in their tracks, and doesn’t move from one activity to another. Without structure, they feel aimless, and will often find ways to fill that space that are not great.
On days like today (and tomorrow, and maybe Tuesday), there is no real structure being provided by school, or meetings, or working out. That aimlessness will occur, and your child will find something to do that will, at the very least, annoy you. That’s why it is essential that the ADHDers’ feeling of just wandering through the day can be mitigated by making a plan.
Sitting down with your ADHD child to create a blueprint for the day is a great idea – if YOU have first determined what you would like to see. For example, your child may say “I want to play video games for seven hours tomorrow!” This is an enormous amount of time on a screen, even on a show day. Knowing what you would like to see, and what you find unacceptable, will enable a discussion that is productive, and a plan that is agreeable to both you and your child.
Here is one example of a snow day plan:
Wake up by 10am. No iPad, phone, or TV until the morning routine and breakfast is complete.
Breakfast (or Lunch, depending…) – help with breakfast; this can mean putting out placemats, setting the table, helping with food preparation, loading the dishwasher.
Screens – total of 3 – 4 hours for the day (more than usual, since there isn’t much else to do). Three of the hours can be used consecutively, or spread over the course of the day. The last hour will take place after chores are done.
Chores – complete one daily and one weekly chore.
Other – read, draw, help with shoveling. Can play with your sister as long as there is no fighting. If there is fighting, you will be separated, and will be sent to your rooms to calm down.
Evening routine – Screens are taken away. The evening routine should include getting ready for tomorrow (when there will most likely be school), including picking out clothes and prepping their backpack.
You do not have to plan a day that mimics a school day. If the snow day is a pajama day, that’s fine. It is up to you and your family. Just make sure there is a mix of fun, relaxation, and work.
The plan can be posted somewhere that everyone can see it (magnet to fridge?). If your child objects during a transition, simply pointing to the plan is all that is necessary (and can keep you from engaging in a fruitless argument).
So somewhere between shoveling the snow and cooking something warm and delicious, sit down with your kid(s) and plan out the day. And stay safe!