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Category: Task management

If You Don’t Know The Basic Science Behind ADHD, You Need to Learn It

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When I do an initial intake with a new client, one of the questions I ask is “What would you like to learn about your ADHD?”  It’s a pretty broad question, and most responses center around wanting to learn how to be more productive, or how to organize their lives.

At that point, I ask, “How much do you know about the brain science behind your ADHD?”

The majority say they don’t know anything, or very little. The word dopamine is bandied about a bit. And most surprisingly, when I ask if they would like to know more, most say, “I don’t really need to.”

Oh, but you do. You really, really do.

I’m not talking about becoming a neuropsychologist, or obtaining the knowledge that your psychiatrist has. But having a basic understanding of what physically makes your brain different, and how that impacts your life, is, in my opinion, essential. 

First, it is vital to understand that there are physical differences between the ADHD brain and the neurotypical brain. It is not being lazy, or dumb, or anything behavioral. Comprehending that concept opens up an entire world for those of you who have been chastising yourselves about not trying harder. Or just not getting over it.

Would you berate yourself because you haven’t tried harder to see better, if you are a glasses wearer? Of course not. And just because this is a brain related disorder does not make it any less physical.

Repeat that to yourself a few times.

Secondly, I’m not sure how one can make a well informed decision about symptom management if they don’t understand what is causing the symptoms to begin with.

Let’s take an example from my running life. Let’s say I have a pain in my knee. In order to decide how to handle that, (Rest? Ice? New running shoes? Surgery?) I need to understand what may have happened that resulted in this pain before I can decide what I need to do next.

With ADHD, having a working comprehension of what is causing symptoms can help us to make solid treatment decisions. Knowing that my brain has lower dopamine might lead me to use medication to offset that. Understanding that the areas of my brain that control my emotional responses are different than those belonging to neurotypicals might convince me to try meditation to help with regulating my responses.

Deciding on one’s symptom management without having a basic understanding of what is causing the symptoms is like wearing a bikini on a sunny day…in February. You just don’t have all the facts to make an informed decision.

Finally, having a basic working knowledge of how your brain is different enables you to set up your life in ways that support you.

Dopamine low? Let’s make things more fun to get us going! Executive functions negatively impacted? Maybe an accountability buddy or group can help keep us on track. Fight or flight activated quickly? Perhaps I need to let my significant other know this can happen.

I don’t mean to imply that the ADHD brain is wrong, or broken, or just not effective. Not at all. But it IS different. And providing yourself with that knowledge is a gift of self awareness, and part of the ADHD toolbox for living your best life.

How Body Doubling Is Changing My Life!

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That sounds awfully dramatic, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth!

I have a project that has been sitting on my back burner for so long, it’s blending in with the decor. It’s a terrific project, a great idea, something that, if I can get it off the ground,will enable me to help people make major positive changes in their lives…

But, there it sits.

And the thing is, I already started it, awhile back. So it’s not about starting this project, and feeling overwhelmed. It’s about starting AGAIN.

It’s that same feeling you get when you’ve been going to the gym consistently, and then life happens, and you miss one workout, and another, and another. It’s almost harder to go BACK to the gym than it was to start in the first place.

What’s up with that?

When we are starting something new, there’s excitement. There’s anticipation. Using the gym example, there are so many possibilities-feeling great, looking chiseled, meeting new people.

But that excitement isn’t really there when we go BACK to something we’ve done in the recent past. Sure, we know it’s a good idea, we looked and felt much better when we were working out often, but it’s really hard to drum up that “new” feeling that kicks our enthusiasm-and our dopamine-up several notches.

And that’s exactly what I have run into with my project. I know it’s a great idea, but I also can’t garner that “Yahoo!” feeling. The newness isn’t there. Plus I also know about the downside-that I actually have to do work to make it happen!

Enter body doubling. Body doubling is when we work alongside someone, as opposed to with them. It is a great way to keep working-you’re not going to start playing on your phone when you’ve committed to working and your body double can see you. So it works fantastically well for distractions.

But as an incentive to start a task? Yup!

A friend offered to body double with me while I work on this project. She had some work to do as well, so we would both benefit.

And suddenly, the newness was there! I was going to work with my friend! And be able to share my progress! 

This new twist made all the difference.

So far, we’ve body doubled once, and now, I’m working away on my project even when she’s not around, so I can tell her how far I’ve come since I saw her last. Accountability is built into the process, along with having a work buddy.

Now, there is actually hope of completing this project in the foreseeable future, which could really be a game changer for me, and others. 

The project is off the back burner. In fact-it’s got a hell of a fire under it. Thanks to body doubling.

If you are interested in body doubling with me, you can register for my weekly Monday afternoon sessions-FREE! Here’s the link:  https://calendly.com/constellationadhdcoach/body-doubling

I Use Multiple Task Management Systems Simultaneously, And It Works For Me

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A common joke amongst ADHDers is, when some well meaning but misinformed soul says, “All you need is a planner/bullet journal/to-do list app,” the response is “OMG, I’m cured! Thank you!!” Cue laughter.

Many folks with ADHD have tried a variety of task management strategies and systems. Whether it’s handwritten or online, ever hopeful folks with executive function challenges sample these systems, reading articles and purchasing apps. And it may work-for about two weeks. That’s when the newness wears off, and the planner is chucked in a corner, ultimately collecting dust.

This is not a judgment of anyone, ADHDer or otherwise, who does not stick with a particular task management system – I personally have many, many apps and journals that didn’t last. But I will say this:  if we know that the ADHD brain is interest based, and is going to pursue the new and exciting option, and will eschew something that has lost its luster, we need to work with that.

Enter my Many Systems System.

I use a variety of systems and tools to keep track of my tasks, and to get them done. And while there is some method to my madness, a lot of it is driven by my mood. Yup, I said it-my mood.

I use Todoist as my main task management system. It works well for me, as I’m able to schedule the many repeating tasks that are part of my coaching business-prepping for sessions, writing summaries, and reconciling my bank account.

But I don’t just use Todoist. For example, sometimes something will pop into my head-let’s say “get my oil changed.” Now if I was Todoist only, I’d stop what I was doing, and put this task into my app, perhaps in the “Inbox” section, which is kind of the brain dump area. 

But sometimes, it’s easier to  just write it on a Post-It note-or more fun (there are some very cute Post-Its). Or I’ll tell Siri to remind me at 4pm to call the mechanic and make an appointment. Or I might just make it a Google Task, and pop it into a specific day on my Google Calendar. Or I have an app called “Quicky Sticky” on my phone, which is basically a virtual Post-It-also a good place to jot something down. Whatever floats my boat in the moment.

If I have a task that I KNOW I will avoid, I put it into my Due app. Due will remind me of a task over and over, all day and night, until I either move it, or do it. So for things like “give the dog the flea and tick meds she hates,” Due is my go to. It is a silent but forceful nag.

Then there are the days that I have a lot to do, and  I feel overwhelmed.  On those days I like to write all of my to-do’s for that day on actual paper, and cross them off as I complete them. “But aren’t your tasks on Todoist? Isn’t this a waste of time and effort?” Yes, there is something less efficient in doing this. However, if writing it all down on paper helps me to feel less anxious, and allows me to get that “Zing!” from crossing off tasks, it’s worth it to me.

So, in case you are counting, I actively employ six apps, and two written methods-all being used simultaneously. 

Now you might wonder if this gets confusing. Honestly-no, it doesn’t. There are a couple of practices that I’ve learned over time to help. First, tasks on apps all have reminders attached to them. This way, no matter where I’ve put the task, it will pop up. Also, I take two minutes at the end of every day putting any written to-dos, and those on Quicky Sticky, into Todoist or Due, so that they too are residing on my phone, with a reminder.
Having a Many Systems System can take some getting used to. But one thing for sure-I never get bored. And that means abandoning my task management system doesn’t happen very often. Which helps me to stay on task much more consistently. And that’s the goal, right?

The One Hack You’re Probably Ignoring To Get Things Done

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ADHDers don’t just love novelty – they need novelty. If something isn’t interesting, or new, or about to burst into flames, it’s just not on the ADHDer radar.

So when boring tasks need to be tackled-folding laundry, sending thank you notes, responding to emails, paying bills-the neurodivergent ADHD mind says “No thank you. That is incredibly dull, so I’ll just ignore it.” Which can cause a whole big set of problems.

The solution is to turn boring jobs into…less boring jobs. Finding ways to have cleaning the kitchen become even the slightest bit enticing. Because once we start, we most likely will keep going, right? 

There are many ways to add some spice to tedious chores. Put on music. Watch TV. Listen to an audiobook or podcast. Promise yourself you will work for five minutes and then take a break.

But there’s one hack that you, as a responsible adult type, are probably turning up your nose at. And you shouldn’t.

It’s gamifying.

“Sure,” you say, “I gamify tasks for my kids all the time. They’re kids though!”

I’m here to say it-gamifying is for adults too. It is the secret sauce that makes an otherwise deadly dull task-dare I say it-fun. Which means you’re more likely to actually do it.

Here are a few ideas on how to gamify grown-up jobs:

Beat the Clock – Set a stopwatch, and see how long it takes you to empty that dishwasher. Write it down, and then see if you can beat it next time. Turn it into a family competition-give those kiddos a reason to help out with chores!

Snowball Fight – can be played alone, or with others. On small strips of paper, write down each task you need to accomplish that day. Crumple each up one, and throw them into the air! Then pick one up, and complete it. And another, and another.

Trashketball – works for anything involving paperwork. When you have read/dealt with any paper, crumple it up and try to toss it into your trash can from a distance. Keep track, and reward yourself after 5 baskets.

Card Catalog – For jobs with several steps, write each step on an index card. Then, write 1-5 prize cards that say “take a break” or “dance to one song” – whatever works for you. Insert the prize cards randomly into the deck, and when you hit one of those cards, follow the directions. The anticipation will keep you going! This is also a fun one for family chores.

“But wait,” you say, “I’m going to feel really silly doing this.”

Yup, you might. But you know what won’t feel silly? Getting things done. That’ll feel great. And I truly believe, we could all use a drop more silliness in our lives.

So get a little goofy. And get that stuff done.

ADHD Books That I Love!

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As promised, here is a list of some of my favorite ADHD books, just in time for Prime Days on July 11 and 12. Here we go!

Your Brain’s Not Broken – Tamara Rosier

If you are only going to buy one book from my recommendations, this would be the one I would say is a must. I have been fortunate enough to attend a few webinars held by Tamara Rosier, so I was excited to read her book-and it did not disappoint! Your Brain’s Not Broken has user-friendly explanations of ADHD brain differences, including examples. Additionally, the strategies presented, which take the emotional dysregulation ADHDers can experience fully into account, are explained so well that they can be put into action quickly and easily.

What I love about this book: I love everything about Your Brain’s Not Broken! First of all, the notion of motivation being determined by emotions is so thought provoking; it makes so much sense, but this is the first time I’m seeing it spelled out so clearly. Also, Rosier’s presentation of different clients, and her own ADHD, makes this book so relatable. I couldn’t put it down! https://amzn.to/3NF0YzH

ADHD 2.0 – Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey

Dr. Hallowell could be called one of the Grand Poobahs of ADHD research, treatment, and writing. ADHD 2.0 is an update to Hallowell’s original book, Driven to Distraction, which was (and still is) the ADHD bible. ADHD 2.0, in addition to explaining the brain science behind ADHD, also discusses different ways to enable ADHDers to thrive (such as exercise and connecting with others).

What I love about this book:  Dr. Hallowell’s approach is strengths based, meaning that rather than focus on what one has difficulty with, ADHDers are encouraged to lean on what they are great at. Dr. Hallowell is such a positive force in ADHD treatment, and that shines through in ADHD 2.0. https://amzn.to/44EculN

how to keep house while drowning – KC Davis

This book, and the YouTube and TikTok videos that KC Davis has created, are legendary among ADHDers. Ms. Davis has developed Struggle Care, a very basic plan for keeping your house in some form of order, based on the (very true) concept that having a messy house is not a moral failure, it is simply a functional challenge. how to keep house while drowning has suggestions for housekeeping that take into account ADHD, depression, anxiety, postpartum…basically, life. You can use the 31 day plan that is presented, or just read through and choose what you’d like to work on.

What I love about this book:  Throughout how to keep house while drowning, one feels like you are sitting and schmoozing with a friend who is telling you that it’s all going to be okay, and that you’re being too hard on yourself. It’s a comforting little booklet. https://amzn.to/46EJfAY

Smart But Scattered – Peg Dawson and Richard Guare

Smart But Scattered is a great book for parents who are looking for practical advice on how to help their ADHD child work with their challenged executive functions. There is a terrific explanation of what the executive functions are, with examples. A section on general strategies to employ when dealing with your child follows. Finally, there are suggestions (with implementation plans) and examples relating to a variety of issues that any ADHD parent will recognize.

What I love about this book: The approach that is presented in Smart But Scattered towards working with your ADHD child is on point. Dawson and Guare tell parents to “modify tasks to match your child’s capacity to exert effort,” and “begin by changing things outside the child before…strategies that require the child to change.” In other words, work with your child, not against them. Doesn’t sound terribly profound…but it is. https://amzn.to/3O4zUuR

All Dogs Have ADHD – Kathy Hoopmann

All Dogs Have ADHD is a picture book full of dogs doing, well, dog things. But what makes this book special is that the pictures tell the story of ADHD. So, a dog jumping into a lake is “diving straight into a situation without thinking about the consequences.” You get the idea. This book is great for kids who have ADHD, and also those who don’t, but spend time around ADHDers. The photographs are beautiful, and the pups are adorable.

What I love about this book: Parents often want to sugarcoat for their kids. All Dogs Have ADHD doesn’t do that-while the book does end on a very positive note, the positives and negatives are given equal time. Also…dogs. Need I say more?? (PS-there is a companion book, All Cats Are On The Autism Spectrum) https://amzn.to/46RhntE

I could go on and on..but I’ll save some of my faves for another post down the road. Happy Reading!!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

Must Have Products for ADHDers!

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With Prime Day just around the corner (July 11 and 12), I thought I’d share my favorite products and books for ADHDers! This week – all the things.

Mr. Pen Highlighters

Why highlighters for ADHDers? Several reasons. First, it might be a way to fidget/let out energy. Second, color makes everything more fun, which in turn can give us that dopamine boost we crave. Using highlighters as a study tool to sort text, or when going through your to-do list and calendar, can help to keep you focused. https://amzn.to/435x2m2

Textured Tactile Adhesive Sensory Strips

These strips are about the size of a band-aid, and can stick to the underside of a desk, a phone case-wherever you want. They are very soothing to rub, and can satisfy that fidget urge when you are stuck on a Zoom call and you can’t get up and pace around. https://amzn.to/3r8JGDm

The Time Timer

ADHDers struggle with “time blindness,” which means that telling your child “be ready in 15 minutes” is bound to end in frustration for both of you. Enter the Time Timer, which shows time passing-the smaller the red slice, the less time is left. Get the 60 minute version, to have more flexibility. The Time Timer comes in many different colors-I just happen to like this tie dye model.  https://amzn.to/3XuD12x

Mr. Pen Dry Erase Pocket Sleeves

I learned about these when I was teaching. These pocket sleeves are great for morning/evening routines, checklists, chore lists – anything that requires the same steps each time. Make the list, pop it into the pocket, and use a dry erase marker to check off items. No need to rewrite the list!  https://amzn.to/3CStJng

Post-it Notes!

I use Post-It notes for so many things. One use that I have found to be super helpful is to jot down anything that pops into my head, and stick it to the counter, desk, sink…wherever I am. I can add it to my calendar or Todoist app later on, but using Post-Its for those sneaky little things that you remember in the middle of the action keeps you from then forgetting they exist. Perfect for the ADHD working memory challenge!  https://amzn.to/3pt7f9p

hOmelabs Sunrise Clock

Getting your ADHD kiddo out of bed in the morning can be a real challenge. Research has shown that the use of sunrise alarm clocks, also known as dawn simulation clocks, can improve sleep quality, as well as make waking up a more natural process. This particular clock also has the ability to have nature sounds play during the “sunrise,” and has a simulated sunset as well. The colored lights are always fun for the kiddos!  https://amzn.to/3rbmGUp

Uppower Essential Oil Diffuser

Radha Lavender Essential Oil

Speaking of sleeping, I swear by this diffuser and lavender essential oil. All it takes is one deep inhale and I am halfway to Slumber Town. Lavender is known to be calming, so breathing it in during the night keeps me soothed, and asleep. The diffuser has different color settings, so it can double as a night light; it also can be set on intermittent or full blast.  https://amzn.to/3pw5wQO  https://amzn.to/435x2m2

Next week…the best of ADHD books and movies. Happy Shopping!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

This Can Help You Win The Fight Against Procrastination!

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Procrastinating. We all do it – it’s not just a neurodiverse activity. It’s just that ADHDers seem to do it more often.

Choosing to delay action, even though this delay will have negative consequences, is the working definition of procrastination. So, for example, putting off paying my bills is a form of procrastination, because I know that if I pay late, I will have to pay interest, and late fees. Yet I still choose to put it off, because ugh, bills.

There are many reasons we procrastinate – fear of doing the task incorrectly, lack of interest (and therefore no dopamine hit), needing “just right” circumstances, disorganization, feeling overwhelmed…the list goes on.

Is there anything can we do to successfully battle procrastination??

Enter Piers Steel, and the Procrastination Equation. Steel developed this equation to explain the components of motivation:

Motivation = Expectancy X Value/Impulsiveness X Delay

So, being a former Math teacher, I’m kind of partial to equations…but that’s me.  Before you shriek “I hate Math!” and run away, let me try to translate this. What Steel is saying is how motivated you are depends on four components: expectancy, or how confident you are that you can complete the task; value, or how important completing the task is to you; impulsiveness, or how easily you can be distracted from the task; and delay, or how short or long the timeline is.

So, in order to increase motivation, per Steel’s equation, you need to increase confidence or importance, or decrease distraction or the timeline, in order to increase motivation.

Here is an example to make this even clearer.

Let’s go back to my procrastination relating to paying my bills. If I can increase my confidence that I can pay my bills correctly, and/or feel the value to me of paying them, I will be more motivated. So, using autopay can help me to feel confident, and recognizing how good it feels to have it done raises the value of doing the task.

Decreasing distractions, and shortening the timeline can also help curb procrastination. So I can pay my bills with my phone in Focus mode, and can break the task into smaller parts so that I have a “completion” more often.

What I love about this is that it’s ACTIONABLE. There are four different areas where you can make changes, and motivation will increase. This equation gives you a starting point.

Think about something that you have procrastinated on in the past, or are even avoiding right now. Can you make a change to one of the four components in Steel’s equation that will help lessen your desire to put something off? Even just tweaking one component-promising yourself a treat if you start the task will add some value, right-can make a difference.

I’m off to pay my bills. I’ll let you know how I do.

Structures That Work For YOU To Get Things Done

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I spend a lot of time trying out different task management systems. You name it, it’s lived for a time on my phone. I think a lot of us do this, hoping that THIS will be THE ONE that solves the problem, and ensures that this time you will get your oil changed on time (oh crap! I’d better look into that!).

I’ve learned, though, that in order to find apps or journals that will help-and they really can-you need to first understand just where you need support in the task completion process. 

Completing a task that you are not working on immediately has three parts. First, is knowing that there is a task, and understanding what completing that task involves. Second, is remembering that you need to do this task, when it is due, and where it stands in terms of prioritization. Third is actually working on the task, whether it is doing the entire thing at one time, or doing it in parts (in which case you need to understand what parts must be done first).

To find the Holy Grail of organizational systems-or just something that works, most of the time-it is important to know where in the task completion process you find yourself flailing about.

For example, I am fine with knowing that there is a task, and understanding what I need to do. I am also fairly diligent about working on the task. But that can only happen if I actually remember that I need to do something. And that is where it all falls apart, for me.

The area in which I need support is remembering that there IS a task, and paying attention to where it exists on the food chain of my life. Which means that a to-do list, organized according to urgency and importance, can bridge the gap for me. 

If task initiation is a challenge, reminders and alarms may be your best friend. And time blocking-putting the task into your calendar as an event-can help you to actually “see” the time to start.

You may be on top of remembering, and getting down to business. But you may have difficulty with knowing how long certain jobs will take, and scheduling too much in one day. Apps that have you plan out each day, and actually warn you when you are doing the Future Overwhelm Dance, might be right for you.

Some people do better with writing it all down, in journals, on whiteboards, with index cards. Others leave their journals everywhere except where they need them, but having access to a digitally based system makes it as simple as picking up their smartphone to see what’s on their plate. And there are those who use a combination of analog and digital.

And some people have an accountability buddy who texts reminders.

There are many different ways one can struggle with the task of doing tasks-and just as many ways to deal with that chink in the armor. Knowing where YOU struggle can help you to find the right structural support. It can also help you to avoid trying app after app after journal after list. 

Now let me check on that oil change….