My Emergency System

Routines, habits, and structures are the supports that help ADHDers, and other neurodivergent folks, operate in our neurotypical world. Once we recognize that ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t pay attention (there’s that annoying name thing again), it means you have difficulty regulating focus, it’s just a few steps to “Aha! I CAN do things, I just find it hard to remember them, or stop doing interesting things to complete boring stuff. I just need some help with that piece!” And from there, reminders occur, body doubling ensues, and hopefully, productivity and self esteem rises.

But what about those cases where, despite having great systems, you just cannot get it together? What then??

First of all, don’t panic. Life is not just a linear journey. Things will happen that will upend our structures like a house of cards in a stiff wind. 

And second – have an emergency system at the ready.

You’ve heard those announcements – “This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed where to tune in your area for news and official information.”  In other words, if the you-know-what has hit the fan, we can, hopefully calmly, use what we already have in our possession to address it.

My personal emergency system consists of putting specific tasks on my calendar at specific days and times, rather than just carrying them on a to-do list. I need to know that at 2pm I will be reminded to drop off a package, and at 3pm I will be vacuuming. The time aspect forces me to act.

I also know that when in emergency mode, telling myself “oh I’ll remember that” when thinking of something I need to address is a BIG FAT LIE. So, when this happens, I will note it any way I can. If I can’t get to my task management app, that’s okay –  I can write on my arms, slap a Post It note onto my computer screen, or instruct Siri to text me about it. Anything that gives Working Memory a break.

In other words, my emergency system super sizes my everyday routines and structures. Nothing fancy, nothing that requires me to learn how to use a new app in the midst of chaos.

So, when is an emergency system put into play? Here are some scenarios.

1 – When you are feeling overwhelmed by everything you need to do. This can be planning a presentation, throwing a party, moving…anything where the number of steps is too high to count.

2 – When you are not 100%. Whether you are not feeling well physically, or are dealing with emotional fall out, having some extra oomph in your task management can help you to stay on track, even under difficult circumstances.

3 – When deadlines are short, and tempers are shorter. Tasks that need to be “completed yesterday” come with their own special brand of stress. This, in turn, can have you and everyone else involved grinding their teeth and ready to pounce on the next person who looks at them wrong. Heightening our task management in easy but effective ways can help us make progress despite the pressure.

Having your own emergency system gives you a structure to lean on when you feel as if the world is on fire. So give it some thought – you want to be ready when it’s not a test, but rather, an actual emergency.

Five Things To Do (& Not Do) Before School Starts

It’s just about August. And after that…well, you know.

I’m really not trying to be a doom and gloomer. But, ready or not, before you know it, that big yellow bus will pull up to the corner. So let’s talk about what to do – and not do – before that happens. Let’s meet this head on!

Here we go, in no particular order:

1 – If your child is starting a new school in a district that is new to them (or a new private school), DO contact the school.

Reaching out to the school’s guidance office can be really helpful, in the cases above. You can make sure the school has all documentation relating to your child (IEP’s, Section 504’s, behavior plans). While these documents should travel with your child, there can be delays; you want to be sure that the school is aware of your child’s ADHD and other learning differences. 

2 – DO NOT try to meet with your child’s teacher(s) prior to the start of the school year.

I know, I am flying in the face of articles you may have read. But as a retired teacher, I can tell you that teachers are not only incredibly busy getting ready for all of their students, they are probably doing so on their own time. If you’d like to email the teacher(s) to introduce yourself and your child, that’s fine. But meetings should wait until the year is underway. PS – teachers are professionals. They are required to read IEP’s and 504 plans prior to any student walking into their classroom – and they do.

3 – DO include your child in school supply shopping.

Believe me, I am well aware of the pitfalls of shopping with a child, with or without ADHD. However, school supplies are the tools that your child will use all year. They should have choices where possible, including having Fantastic Four folders or a Barbie pencil case. Furthermore, your child will be more apt to use and take care of supplies they have chosen. So Staples, here we come!

4 – DO start to incorporate morning and evening routines, and earlier bedtimes, before the year starts.

Summer is a time of freedom – playing outside by the light of fireflies, sleeping in, ice cream for breakfast. While we don’t want to cut off the fun before we have to, bringing back routines a week or so prior to the start of school will make that first day go much more smoothly. PS – if your child has been having an ADHD “medication vacation,” consider starting on back on medication before the first day of school. This will enable them to adjust to how they feel when on their ADHD meds.

And finally….

5 – DO NOT end the summer before you have to.

Kids work hard during the school year. ADHD kiddos have an even rougher road. While it is great to mitigate the “summer slide” with fun activities that have educational benefits (cooking together, playing board games, taking turns reading a book together), forcing workbooks and other schoolwork on your child during the summer is not, in my opinion, fair. Schools do assign summer work, and getting that done with a few weeks to spare enables your child to have summer last right up until it’s gone.

So enjoy the rest of the summer! Just keep one eye on that corner; that school bus is on the way.

ADHD Friendly Prime Days Picks!!

It’s that time once again – Prime Days (July 8 – 11) are right around the corner! Here are my favorite ADHD friendly or supportive items for this year. Happy Shopping!!

Dry Erase Write On Dice Set

These dice are 2” x 2”, and you can write on them and then erase them. Why do I love these? These can be used in so many ways! You can write different chores on them, and have your kids roll the dice to see what they need to do first. Homework subjects? Morning or evening routine? We know that gamifying tasks make them so much more appealing to ADHDers, and these dice can make that happen super easily! https://amzn.to/3I65kki

Soundcore Active Noise Canceling Headphones and EarFun Noise Canceling Earbuds

You know how it goes. You finally sit down to get some work done, get started, and then you can’t help but hear the neighbors splashing in their pool. Mission aborted! Noise cancelling headphones and earbuds keep those shouts (and other noises) at bay, allowing you to concentrate on the task at hand, as opposed to how annoying the person in the next cubicle is being. These are the New York Times Wirecutter’s most recently recommended noise cancelling headphones and earbuds, in the budget category. The headphones adapt to your environment; the earbuds detect the shape of your ear canals, for maximum performance. Technology for the win! Headphones:  https://amzn.to/4lz2Xoh

Earbuds:  https://amzn.to/3TrtEiV

Raymnie Analog Clock for Kids (and adults too!)

Studies show that well over half of kids 6 – 12 do not know how to tell time on an analog clock. While this may not sound like a big deal – digital clocks are everywhere – it does impact the understanding of time passing. Without the movement of clock hands through the hour, the opportunity to see and feel time is missed. This is a serious omission for ADHDers, for whom time blindness is a real issue. While a timer can be very helpful, seeing time on a continuum really starts to strengthen this challenged executive function. This clock helps with learning to tell time, with an outer circle that delineates the minutes in the hour. And it’s colorful, which ADHDers love!  https://amzn.to/44tXpEO

“The ADHD Productivity Manual,” Ari Tuckman, PsyD

If you’ve ever heard Dr. Tuckman speak (and if you haven’t, I urge you to do so if you get the opportunity), you know that he is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD, and he has a plethora of practical strategies that he conveys in a clear and engaging manner. His latest book, “The ADHD Productivity Manual,” follows the same recipe. Easy to read and follow, great ideas to try out. Highly recommended!  https://amzn.to/46doKOf

Echo Dot Kids

If you haven’t already welcomed an Echo Dot (or another brand of smart device) into your home, let me stop here to say, where have you been?? It feels like these devices are built with ADHDers in mind, allowing you to set timers, get reminders, find out the weather, ALL BY JUST SPEAKING! Taking away that step of having to find paper and pen, or worse, pulling out your phone…oh wait, let me just look at Instagram for a minute…yeah, without THAT. AND there is a cute Echo Dot for kids! They can tell Alexa their morning routine, and Alexa can keep your kiddo on track. Homework help, audiobooks, everything with parental controls. Oh, and did I mention that you can have Mickey Mouse remind your child to brush their teeth, or Olaf can read them a story? All in all, it’s a great way to encourage your child’s independence while still giving them a safety net, and also teaching them how to accommodate their ADHD.  https://amzn.to/4lI77dU

Sukuos AM PM Weekly Pill Organizer

Finally, I wanted to include this pill organizer because I have one, and it has really been helpful. Asking myself “did I take my meds today?” and being afraid to double up, so possibly skipping altogether, had gotten very old.  And with this pill organizer, there’s no more taking the PM meds in the AM, or vice versa. There is plenty of room, which is helpful when you take vitamins or other supplements. And the AM and PM can be separated, making it easy to throw your AM meds into your gym bag while leaving your PM meds on the nightstand. https://amzn.to/4nvDsWK

Are there any items that you would like to recommend? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

When Chaos Erupts

Earlier this week I tripped, fell down the stairs, and fractured a bone in my ankle. I’m in a walking boot, which is way better than the crutches with which I was released from the ER.

Suddenly, everything is just a damn mess! I can’t drive, so every activity has to be recalibrated, postponed, or cancelled. I have new appointments with doctors to address the problem. And worst of all, at least for me – all of my routines are just shot.

It can be so difficult to establish routines, especially with ADHD. But once in place, routines become the anchors to our days. We feel organized and capable, which in turn leads to more organization, and more confidence. Structures and routines help to keep us from hours long rabbit hole searches, late night social media scrolling, midday naps. If I have a post lunch routine of making a cold brewed coffee and stretching, those actions send a signal to my brain that says “time to get to work.” Without the signal it’s a lot harder.

And now? My anchors are gone, and the ship is sinking!  But before I’m completely underwater, I’m trying to regroup. Here are some of the strategies I’ve discovered and leaned on in the past week:

1 – Take a small piece of your routine and try to save it. Part of my morning routine is making my bed. Looking at a messy unmade bed all day would serve as a reminder that I’m hanging on by a thread. I decided to save this part of my mornings.  So yesterday, I crawled around on my bed, getting it made. Holding onto something from your routines feels like an accomplishment (dopamine!) and will also make it easier to get back to them when the crisis is over.

2 – Find something that is a close substitute for a part of your routine you have to give up. Obviously, I can’t go running. But exercise is important for my physical and mental health. So today, I did a 30 minute seated upper body and core routine. Feeling good about doing what I can do, instead of focusing on what I can’t, and being proud of myself for taking action gave me a nice dopamine hit!. Use that ADHD creativity to find substitutions for what’s missing in your routines!

3 – Sit with your upset feelings. Whatever is driving the chaotic turn of events in your life, there will be activities that will be postponed or cancelled, people that you might not see, and possibly other disappointments. This can bring on feelings of frustration, sadness, anger – and as we know, emotional regulation is a challenge for ADHDers. However, I’m going to suggest that instead of squelching these negative emotions, we should attempt to just exist alongside them. Trying to push them away actually gives them strength and longevity. In the words of the late Dan Fogelberg, “Love if you can, cry if you have to, be who you must, that’s a part of the plan.” Did my frustration at EVERYTHING make me cry? You betcha! But that’s okay.

4 – Practice self compassion. The upside down of your life may be associated with one or some of your actions. Mistakes happen. You are human. Beating yourself up does not change the outcome. In fact, having compassion for yourself will enable you to bounce back from this downward trajectory much more quickly. Forgive yourself.

5 – Develop gratitude. Breaking my ankle, in a word, sucks. I’m no longer training for the NYC Marathon; I can’t even drive to a friend’s house. However, I am grateful for my doctor, my husband (a nurse extraordinaire!), the fact that it’s only a small fracture, and that my doctor thinks I’ll be fine by the end of the summer. All of this, big or small, is a reminder that although my day to day life is pretty messed up right now, I do have some great things and people to be thankful for. PS – if you don’t have a regular gratitude practice, think about starting one – it’s truly a game changer!

These are strategies that I’m putting in place. There may be more as the days roll on. But one thing for sure – my bed WILL be made.

The Power of “Job Talk” For Adults

After many years of on and off cigarette smoking, I was finally able to quit for good in February 2017. At the same time, I began running, and actually ran, and finished, my first half marathon in October 2017. Running was just something I did – not that  important, except when training for a race.

Fast forward a few years, to a long overdue check up. As the nurse took my pulse, she looked puzzled. She took it again, and shaking her head, said “your pulse is so low for someone your age.” At which point, I said, “I’m a long distance runner,” and it all suddenly made sense.

Just saying those words, “I’m a long distance runner,” changed so much for me. This isn’t just something I do, it’s part of who I am. Just thinking about that, on days I want to roll over and go back to sleep instead of putting in 8 miles, gets me to push off the covers and get moving.

And when runs, or races, don’t go the way I hope, it’s easier to deal with, because ups and downs are part of being a runner. The longevity implied by being, rather than doing, allows for success and failure, along a continuum.

Many – MANY – ADHDers struggle with task initiation, procrastination, and task avoidance. While this can be attributed, in part, to weak executive functions, and can, in part, be supported by a variety of strategies, there is also the cyclical shame and anxiety associated with these challenges. We can’t get started, so our work might be late or not as solid as it could be, which causes anxiety (“What if I can’t ever get this done?” shame (“I should be able to do this, why can’t I??”). Who wants to go through that over and over? Isn’t avoidance easier? (Ultimately we know the answer to that is no, but in the moment, that avoidance of shame and guilt is all we can handle).

How about approaching tasks slightly differently?

Kristen Jacobsen CCC/SLP, and Sarah Ward CCC/SLP propose using what they call “job talk” with kids. Rather than “Write this essay,” they suggest the declarative “We are essay writers,” claiming that using this format helps to activate non-verbal working memory and procedural memory, creates structure, and limits emotional reactions. Research has also been conducted on adult responses. When comparing reactions between “being a voter” (personal identity) and “voting” (behavior),it was found that the personal-identity phrasing significantly increased interest in registering to vote.

So how do you put this into action? 

You can be very broad about this, as I was with “I am a long distance runner.” However, if starting on a specific task is alluding to you, that can be the basis of your statement. “I am a job searcher,” “I am a kitchen organizer,” “I am a proposal writer.” Does that feel different to you? Do you start to imagine what that means? Prior thinking about your role is a mental dress rehearsal, which is a very powerful tool.

So – be a job talker today. And I’ll be a long distance runner. Let’s see how far we can get.

PS – Next post – calling tasks what they really are…to us (bad language included).

Resources:

Bryan, C. J., G. M. Walton, T. Rogers, and C. S. Dweck. “Motivating Voter Turnout by Invoking the Sense of Self.” Proceedings of The National Academy of Sciences 108.31 (2011).

Kristen Jacobsen and Sarah Ward. “360 Thinking: Breakthrough Strategies to Develop Independent Executive Function Skills.” (2023).

Back At It

The last time I wrote a blog post was November 4, 2024. 

It would sound so legit if I were to say that so many earth shattering things had occurred in my life, I just didn’t have an extra second to devote to blogging. Or that I’d found someone who said they would write the blog for me, and then they absconded with their payment, and didn’t write a thing. Drama always distracts from the facts.

But in reality, and truthfully…I just wasn’t feeling it. Since I am my own boss, the urgency level is determined by me. It’s super easy to tell my employee (me) “oh, that’s not really a priority right now.” Just because it’s something I wasn’t in the mood to do.

Sound familiar?

We all have those tasks that we can convince ourselves really aren’t important, or are just not important at the moment. Often, and not so coincidentally, these are the things that we also don’t feel like doing. Plus with ADHD, importance doesn’t have the same power that it does for neurotypicals. If you’ve ever struggled to start on your taxes, you know what I’m saying.

So how did I get back to my laptop and start writing a blog post? Here are a couple of strategies that helped.

1 – Discard embarrassment – we can get completely stuck by being concerned with what others will think. The reality is, it’s pretty unlikely that anyone cares enough to be thinking “Oh, here’s Annette’s blog. She’s really been slacking off on this.” If someone actually has noticed that my blog has been on an unannounced hiatus, that might mean they actually read it, which would be a positive!

2 – Find value in the task – A potential client, when contacting me to set up a Discovery Session, said that he gets my “newsletter.” This was a solid indicator that the blog was having a direct impact on my business. Seeing what it is about this task that will make your life easier or better in some way can nudge you towards getting started, or in my case, re-started.

3 – INCUP – According to Dr. Thomas Brown, ADHD brains are interest based (anyone who has spent hours absorbed in learning about something relatively obscure can attest to this). Therefore, per Dr. Brown, motivation for ADHDers comes from interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, or passion (otherwise known as INCUP).”Sure,” you say,”that works great when it’s something I find compelling. But how about something I’m just not into?” The trick is to turn the task into something that has at least one of the INCUP motivators going for it. In my case, I went for novelty by body doubling with a friend to write my first blog post of 2025. I added in some urgency by telling my body doubling partner what I was going to be working on, inserting some accountability into the equation. I could’ve tried a challenge, and seen how quickly I could get a post done. Or passion, by first making a list of blog posts I’d be excited to write.

4 – Rewards – there are many things I might want to do this afternoon instead of writing this blog post. So I will let myself do them – after the post is written.

All in all, writing this blog post felt very comfortable for me. And I was able to get it done, using the strategies above.

Welcome back to me!

Crossing the Finish Line With ADHD

Yesterday I went to mile 22-ish to cheer my daughter on at the New York City Marathon (and yes, she did great!!). As I stood on a Manhattan street corner, a sea of runners moved past me. They were all ages, sizes, and all running at different speeds. I saw a woman pushing a man in a wheelchair, and a blind man running with guides. Some people looked like they were out for a relaxed jog, while you could see the pain of every step written on the agonized faces of others.

I found myself studying the runners, looking for clues to connect a runner’s demeanor with…something. Of course, the major factor for all competitive runners is training, which I could not see. But there are other more observable differences. Some runners were running, others were doing a combination of running and walking. There were runners who had doused themselves with water, and were dripping wet, trying to stay cool on a sunny day. Shorts were worn by some; pants by others, with jackets and hats. In other words, each runner had adjusted their pace, and their environment, to their own particular needs.

In my coaching practice, I often come across clients who seem stunned when I suggest making some changes that could make life easier-reminders, alarms, a text from me as their coach-and say “I should be able to do this on my own!” Says who? Your unique brain might need something different from the brain of the guy in the cubicle next door. That doesn’t make you wrong or weak-just different. Being neurodivergent means recognizing this, and honoring it.

Let’s be clear here. The marathon is 26.2 miles, and it is not made shorter for anyone. There might be ways to mitigate those miles – taping your knees, having a great podcast cued up-but you must run each and every mile.

Work and home projects work the same way. Filing your paperwork, or cleaning out your closet, cannot be shortened if you are to bring them to completion. But listening to music, or making a game of cleaning, or body doubling with a friend, can help to support your efforts. Which isn’t cheating-it’s smart.

In the end, I have never heard of someone being disqualified from the marathon because they wore compression socks. As long as they have crossed the finish line, they are marathoners. And no one will say you didn’t send out thank you notes because you rewarded yourself with ice cream when you were done. They’ll probably say “that’s brilliant!”

My Prime Days Picks For ADHDers!

Prime Days are here! (July 16 and 17). Here are some products that I think are great for ADHDers and people with executive function struggles. Many are kid related – back to school is not too far away – but a few are for adults and/or kids. Happy Shopping!

POPRUN Magnetic Weekly Dry Erase Calendar

What makes this particular dry erase calendar a favorite? I love that you can write in the times of day on the left side. This enables you, and your family, to see exactly how the day will look. Dentist from 3pm to 4pm? It’ll be blocked out. White space? Ah, that’s free time! Helping those with time blindness actually see time is such a benefit. https://amzn.to/4bLKFLe

Essex Wares Classroom Pocket Chart

I’m harkening back to my teaching days to recommend this pocket chart. This is a great tool to use for morning or evening routineslist the steps (or better yet, take pictures of your child completing the steps), and when they finish each task, they can turn the card over. Kind of low tech, I know, but that tactile zing one gets when turning over that card is very satisfying! Adults can use it too, it’s great for tasks with a few or several steps that are completed (when we remember) over time – yes, laundry, I’m looking at you! https://amzn.to/3zKojwq

Storage Cubes with Windows and Hooks

And speaking of laundry…it’s possibly the biggest challenge I come across the most with my clients. Hate doing it, hate starting it, can’t move clothes from washer to dryer….and the biggest issue, putting the clothes away. I’m a big believer in making the system work for you, not the other way around. So, two ideas: first, put hooks in your closet, and use them for items that you’d like hung up, but loathe the thought of putting them on hangers. And second, does everything need to be folded? Nope! Underwear, socks, maybe tee shirts and workout clothes, can all just be tossed into one of these fabulous storage cubes. The window lets you see what lives there. It also enables a heads up as to when you are running out of underwear.  https://amzn.to/4cIbAJp https://amzn.to/3LohhAb

Weewooday Cube 15-20-30-60 Flip Timer

A fun variation on the kitchen timer, this flip cube gives you four minute options. Just flip it to the time you want, and off it goes. Great for “Can I have 15 more minutes, Mom?” as well as “I need to leave in 30 minutes.” Comes in several colors, I just like the pink 🙂  https://amzn.to/4f5Tker

Kick Bands

These bands are awesome for kids – and adults – who are more focused when they are performing some type of movement (studies have shown this to be an effective strategy for ADHDers). Simply place the band around the legs of any chair, and you’ve created a spot for quiet, unobtrusive foot bouncing. These have been used in classrooms for ages. Is it time to get some for homework time? Or meal times? https://amzn.to/3xPYb2O 

Blue Ginkgo Multipurpose Caddy Organizer

While it’s helpful for your child to have a specific area in which to do homework (or for you to have a home office that you can use consistently), there are times when a refresh can be helpful (she says as she types this in her husband’s office). Having the basic supplies in a caddy that can be carried easily makes that transition from the bedroom to the kitchen table quick and painless…with less time to get distracted. https://amzn.to/4d3lyVn

Paperage Lined Journal Notebook
Last but not least, a reasonably priced lined notebook. This can be used for…anything, really. A bullet journal, to do list, doodling space, gratitude journal, meeting notes. I have one that I use as a gratitude journal, and one that I use as my brain dump, a parking lot for everything in my head until I move it to my more actionable task app. Comes in tons of colors, the paper is smooth, and at this price, no guilt if you change up your task management plan. https://amzn.to/3xZg8f9 

What items do you find are indispensable? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

Quit “Shoulding” On Yourself!

How often do you think that you should be able to accomplish a particular task? Or that you should do….insert activity that might be good for you but that you don’t currently do?

Here are some examples:

I should be able to figure out my monthly expenses, what is wrong with me?

I should go to the gym more, what is wrong with me?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I should be able to remember something that simple, what is wrong with me?

My mentor coach would call this “shoulding on yourself.” 

The word should, per the Oxford English Dictionary, is “used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.” In other words, should is a judgment word. To “indicate…correctness” implies that if you don’t do what you should, you are incorrect. In the wrong. Even the definition tells us it’s used typically to criticize.

And for ADHDers, there can be lots of shoulds. And lots of self criticism.

But wait a minute, you say. Aren’t there things we really should do?

Of course there are. We should drive sober. We should pay our taxes. We should call our mothers on Mother’s Day, and dads on Father’s Day.

So when SHOULD we use should? And when is should akin to a four letter word?

The way I look at it is this: I feel that should can be reserved for absolutes. For rules, laws, socially acceptable customs – in other words, situations where there is no judgment involved, because it’s pretty black and white.

But when it’s not a rule, using should kind of makes it a rule. And then if we don’t do something, we’ve broken that rule-and we go down the rabbit hole of shame.

How about, when it’s not a rule, we use “want?” Let’s try it.

I want to be able to figure out my monthly expenses, but I’m not sure how. Maybe I’ll ask someone for help.

I want to go to the gym more, what can I do to get there consistently?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I want to be able to remember something that simple. What can I do to make this happen?

“Should” makes it a rule, and invites embarrassment and shame. “Want” makes it a desire, and invites action.

So here’s a little assignment: try to notice when you say you should do something. And if you do catch yourself, replace should with “want to,” and see how different that vibe is.

It will probably make you want to stop shoulding all over yourself!

If You Don’t Know The Basic Science Behind ADHD, You Need to Learn It

When I do an initial intake with a new client, one of the questions I ask is “What would you like to learn about your ADHD?”  It’s a pretty broad question, and most responses center around wanting to learn how to be more productive, or how to organize their lives.

At that point, I ask, “How much do you know about the brain science behind your ADHD?”

The majority say they don’t know anything, or very little. The word dopamine is bandied about a bit. And most surprisingly, when I ask if they would like to know more, most say, “I don’t really need to.”

Oh, but you do. You really, really do.

I’m not talking about becoming a neuropsychologist, or obtaining the knowledge that your psychiatrist has. But having a basic understanding of what physically makes your brain different, and how that impacts your life, is, in my opinion, essential. 

First, it is vital to understand that there are physical differences between the ADHD brain and the neurotypical brain. It is not being lazy, or dumb, or anything behavioral. Comprehending that concept opens up an entire world for those of you who have been chastising yourselves about not trying harder. Or just not getting over it.

Would you berate yourself because you haven’t tried harder to see better, if you are a glasses wearer? Of course not. And just because this is a brain related disorder does not make it any less physical.

Repeat that to yourself a few times.

Secondly, I’m not sure how one can make a well informed decision about symptom management if they don’t understand what is causing the symptoms to begin with.

Let’s take an example from my running life. Let’s say I have a pain in my knee. In order to decide how to handle that, (Rest? Ice? New running shoes? Surgery?) I need to understand what may have happened that resulted in this pain before I can decide what I need to do next.

With ADHD, having a working comprehension of what is causing symptoms can help us to make solid treatment decisions. Knowing that my brain has lower dopamine might lead me to use medication to offset that. Understanding that the areas of my brain that control my emotional responses are different than those belonging to neurotypicals might convince me to try meditation to help with regulating my responses.

Deciding on one’s symptom management without having a basic understanding of what is causing the symptoms is like wearing a bikini on a sunny day…in February. You just don’t have all the facts to make an informed decision.

Finally, having a basic working knowledge of how your brain is different enables you to set up your life in ways that support you.

Dopamine low? Let’s make things more fun to get us going! Executive functions negatively impacted? Maybe an accountability buddy or group can help keep us on track. Fight or flight activated quickly? Perhaps I need to let my significant other know this can happen.

I don’t mean to imply that the ADHD brain is wrong, or broken, or just not effective. Not at all. But it IS different. And providing yourself with that knowledge is a gift of self awareness, and part of the ADHD toolbox for living your best life.