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Category: Children

The Kids Are Ready…But Are You??

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Their backpack is brimming with new notebooks and supplies. You’ve loaded their lunch account with money, and their pens and pencils are ready to solve tricky math problems and write wonderfully creative stories. 

Your kids are ready to start the new school year…but are you?

School can be anxiety producing for parents, particularly for parents of neurodivergent kiddos. In addition to homework, projects, and after school activities, ADHD parents spend every day waiting for the shoe to drop. Waiting for the homework that has been left at school, the assignment due tomorrow that your child remembers at 10pm, or the phone call from the teacher, about your child’s various and sundry challenges that they’re not sure how to handle.

It’s exhausting. And disheartening.

Here, in no particular order, are five ways you can prepare yourself for your child’s school year, in order to make this year less stressful for YOU.

Wake up 15 – 30 minutes before your children do – We all like to roll over and get that last few minutes of sleep. But there is something so calming, and so wonderful, about having a few minutes of quiet before the day roars in. The time is yours, to use as you wish – coffee, meditating, working out, checking email, watching birds hovering at your bird feeder – however you would like to start your morning. 

Keep an updated calendar for the entire family Whether you use a Skylight, Google Calendar, or a big whiteboard, having a calendar where ALL of your family’s appointments, activities, major projects, and tests are in one place allows for better planning. It also enables your ADHD kiddo(s) to be supported in their time management challenges; encourage them, when they ask if they can meet up with friends on any given day, to check the calendar for their availability (and yours, if you need to drive them).

Practice talking less  As parents, many of us (myself included) feel the need to explain ourselves to our kids. “No, you can’t go out now, it’s 9pm,” turns into “No, you can’t go out now, it’s close to your bedtime, and I don’t want you to get to bed late, and then be tired tomorrow. You have a test, and you need to…” Your child hasn’t listened to anything beyond “no.” And you’ve used precious energy overexplaining. Keep it simple. If your child has questions or objections, they will most certainly let you know!

Find something to do consistently that shows obvious results Raising kids is about playing the long game. What you do today may not net results for years, or ever. Having something that enables you to net some quick progress is not only satisfying, it can mitigate feeling like you are getting nowhere. Reading, knitting, coding, baking, refinishing furniture – anything with a short term easily identified result can balance out that long term commitment. 

Be aware of your emotional temperature, and take a break when you need to  Learning how it feels to be hovering on the edge of exploding is something we try to teach our ADHD kids that struggle with emotional dysregulation; but are we applying this to ourselves? Feeling your face get hot, your heartbeat increase – those signals shouldn’t be ignored! If you find yourself about to lose it, take a short break. If you can get outside and take a walk, great. If not, hide in the bathroom or bedroom, and take deep breaths for a few minutes. Raising any kid, but particularly a neurodivergent child, can be very challenging to your patience – but blowing up at your kiddo won’t solve the problem, and will only leave the two of you feeling awful. Avoiding that icky feeling is worth taking a time out for a few minutes.

As they say in “The Hunger Games,” “may the odds ever be in your favor.” Put another way…have a great start to what will hopefully be a wonderful year!!

Five Things To Do (& Not Do) Before School Starts

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It’s just about August. And after that…well, you know.

I’m really not trying to be a doom and gloomer. But, ready or not, before you know it, that big yellow bus will pull up to the corner. So let’s talk about what to do – and not do – before that happens. Let’s meet this head on!

Here we go, in no particular order:

1 – If your child is starting a new school in a district that is new to them (or a new private school), DO contact the school.

Reaching out to the school’s guidance office can be really helpful, in the cases above. You can make sure the school has all documentation relating to your child (IEP’s, Section 504’s, behavior plans). While these documents should travel with your child, there can be delays; you want to be sure that the school is aware of your child’s ADHD and other learning differences. 

2 – DO NOT try to meet with your child’s teacher(s) prior to the start of the school year.

I know, I am flying in the face of articles you may have read. But as a retired teacher, I can tell you that teachers are not only incredibly busy getting ready for all of their students, they are probably doing so on their own time. If you’d like to email the teacher(s) to introduce yourself and your child, that’s fine. But meetings should wait until the year is underway. PS – teachers are professionals. They are required to read IEP’s and 504 plans prior to any student walking into their classroom – and they do.

3 – DO include your child in school supply shopping.

Believe me, I am well aware of the pitfalls of shopping with a child, with or without ADHD. However, school supplies are the tools that your child will use all year. They should have choices where possible, including having Fantastic Four folders or a Barbie pencil case. Furthermore, your child will be more apt to use and take care of supplies they have chosen. So Staples, here we come!

4 – DO start to incorporate morning and evening routines, and earlier bedtimes, before the year starts.

Summer is a time of freedom – playing outside by the light of fireflies, sleeping in, ice cream for breakfast. While we don’t want to cut off the fun before we have to, bringing back routines a week or so prior to the start of school will make that first day go much more smoothly. PS – if your child has been having an ADHD “medication vacation,” consider starting on back on medication before the first day of school. This will enable them to adjust to how they feel when on their ADHD meds.

And finally….

5 – DO NOT end the summer before you have to.

Kids work hard during the school year. ADHD kiddos have an even rougher road. While it is great to mitigate the “summer slide” with fun activities that have educational benefits (cooking together, playing board games, taking turns reading a book together), forcing workbooks and other schoolwork on your child during the summer is not, in my opinion, fair. Schools do assign summer work, and getting that done with a few weeks to spare enables your child to have summer last right up until it’s gone.

So enjoy the rest of the summer! Just keep one eye on that corner; that school bus is on the way.

ADHD Friendly Prime Days Picks!!

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It’s that time once again – Prime Days (July 8 – 11) are right around the corner! Here are my favorite ADHD friendly or supportive items for this year. Happy Shopping!!

Dry Erase Write On Dice Set

These dice are 2” x 2”, and you can write on them and then erase them. Why do I love these? These can be used in so many ways! You can write different chores on them, and have your kids roll the dice to see what they need to do first. Homework subjects? Morning or evening routine? We know that gamifying tasks make them so much more appealing to ADHDers, and these dice can make that happen super easily! https://amzn.to/3I65kki

Soundcore Active Noise Canceling Headphones and EarFun Noise Canceling Earbuds

You know how it goes. You finally sit down to get some work done, get started, and then you can’t help but hear the neighbors splashing in their pool. Mission aborted! Noise cancelling headphones and earbuds keep those shouts (and other noises) at bay, allowing you to concentrate on the task at hand, as opposed to how annoying the person in the next cubicle is being. These are the New York Times Wirecutter’s most recently recommended noise cancelling headphones and earbuds, in the budget category. The headphones adapt to your environment; the earbuds detect the shape of your ear canals, for maximum performance. Technology for the win! Headphones:  https://amzn.to/4lz2Xoh

Earbuds:  https://amzn.to/3TrtEiV

Raymnie Analog Clock for Kids (and adults too!)

Studies show that well over half of kids 6 – 12 do not know how to tell time on an analog clock. While this may not sound like a big deal – digital clocks are everywhere – it does impact the understanding of time passing. Without the movement of clock hands through the hour, the opportunity to see and feel time is missed. This is a serious omission for ADHDers, for whom time blindness is a real issue. While a timer can be very helpful, seeing time on a continuum really starts to strengthen this challenged executive function. This clock helps with learning to tell time, with an outer circle that delineates the minutes in the hour. And it’s colorful, which ADHDers love!  https://amzn.to/44tXpEO

“The ADHD Productivity Manual,” Ari Tuckman, PsyD

If you’ve ever heard Dr. Tuckman speak (and if you haven’t, I urge you to do so if you get the opportunity), you know that he is extremely knowledgeable about ADHD, and he has a plethora of practical strategies that he conveys in a clear and engaging manner. His latest book, “The ADHD Productivity Manual,” follows the same recipe. Easy to read and follow, great ideas to try out. Highly recommended!  https://amzn.to/46doKOf

Echo Dot Kids

If you haven’t already welcomed an Echo Dot (or another brand of smart device) into your home, let me stop here to say, where have you been?? It feels like these devices are built with ADHDers in mind, allowing you to set timers, get reminders, find out the weather, ALL BY JUST SPEAKING! Taking away that step of having to find paper and pen, or worse, pulling out your phone…oh wait, let me just look at Instagram for a minute…yeah, without THAT. AND there is a cute Echo Dot for kids! They can tell Alexa their morning routine, and Alexa can keep your kiddo on track. Homework help, audiobooks, everything with parental controls. Oh, and did I mention that you can have Mickey Mouse remind your child to brush their teeth, or Olaf can read them a story? All in all, it’s a great way to encourage your child’s independence while still giving them a safety net, and also teaching them how to accommodate their ADHD.  https://amzn.to/4lI77dU

Sukuos AM PM Weekly Pill Organizer

Finally, I wanted to include this pill organizer because I have one, and it has really been helpful. Asking myself “did I take my meds today?” and being afraid to double up, so possibly skipping altogether, had gotten very old.  And with this pill organizer, there’s no more taking the PM meds in the AM, or vice versa. There is plenty of room, which is helpful when you take vitamins or other supplements. And the AM and PM can be separated, making it easy to throw your AM meds into your gym bag while leaving your PM meds on the nightstand. https://amzn.to/4nvDsWK

Are there any items that you would like to recommend? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

The Power of “Job Talk” For Adults

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After many years of on and off cigarette smoking, I was finally able to quit for good in February 2017. At the same time, I began running, and actually ran, and finished, my first half marathon in October 2017. Running was just something I did – not that  important, except when training for a race.

Fast forward a few years, to a long overdue check up. As the nurse took my pulse, she looked puzzled. She took it again, and shaking her head, said “your pulse is so low for someone your age.” At which point, I said, “I’m a long distance runner,” and it all suddenly made sense.

Just saying those words, “I’m a long distance runner,” changed so much for me. This isn’t just something I do, it’s part of who I am. Just thinking about that, on days I want to roll over and go back to sleep instead of putting in 8 miles, gets me to push off the covers and get moving.

And when runs, or races, don’t go the way I hope, it’s easier to deal with, because ups and downs are part of being a runner. The longevity implied by being, rather than doing, allows for success and failure, along a continuum.

Many – MANY – ADHDers struggle with task initiation, procrastination, and task avoidance. While this can be attributed, in part, to weak executive functions, and can, in part, be supported by a variety of strategies, there is also the cyclical shame and anxiety associated with these challenges. We can’t get started, so our work might be late or not as solid as it could be, which causes anxiety (“What if I can’t ever get this done?” shame (“I should be able to do this, why can’t I??”). Who wants to go through that over and over? Isn’t avoidance easier? (Ultimately we know the answer to that is no, but in the moment, that avoidance of shame and guilt is all we can handle).

How about approaching tasks slightly differently?

Kristen Jacobsen CCC/SLP, and Sarah Ward CCC/SLP propose using what they call “job talk” with kids. Rather than “Write this essay,” they suggest the declarative “We are essay writers,” claiming that using this format helps to activate non-verbal working memory and procedural memory, creates structure, and limits emotional reactions. Research has also been conducted on adult responses. When comparing reactions between “being a voter” (personal identity) and “voting” (behavior),it was found that the personal-identity phrasing significantly increased interest in registering to vote.

So how do you put this into action? 

You can be very broad about this, as I was with “I am a long distance runner.” However, if starting on a specific task is alluding to you, that can be the basis of your statement. “I am a job searcher,” “I am a kitchen organizer,” “I am a proposal writer.” Does that feel different to you? Do you start to imagine what that means? Prior thinking about your role is a mental dress rehearsal, which is a very powerful tool.

So – be a job talker today. And I’ll be a long distance runner. Let’s see how far we can get.

PS – Next post – calling tasks what they really are…to us (bad language included).

Resources:

Bryan, C. J., G. M. Walton, T. Rogers, and C. S. Dweck. “Motivating Voter Turnout by Invoking the Sense of Self.” Proceedings of The National Academy of Sciences 108.31 (2011).

Kristen Jacobsen and Sarah Ward. “360 Thinking: Breakthrough Strategies to Develop Independent Executive Function Skills.” (2023).

No Summer Slide For Executive Functions!

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In the words of Alice Cooper:

School’s out for summer,

School’s out forever.

I’m bored to pieces.

Before you hear that chorus of “Mom, what should I do? I don’t have anything to do. Tell my brother/sister to stop hitting me!” or you just surrender to letting the kids go on their iPads for eight hours, here are a few fun activities that in addition to keeping your kids occupied, will give them some great executive function practice (Ssshhhh! Don’t tell them this!) Note: these activities are designed for you or another adult to do with your child, in order to keep the task structured. Over time, your child may learn to structure these activities on their own.

Planning an outing – this could be anything from a trip to the ice cream shop, to a day at the beach, to a weekend at a hotel. Starting from the end goal, determine what steps are needed to get there (for example, going to the ice cream shop requires money and transportation; you need to know when you are going, how to get there, who is going and extending invitations to those who are not part of the planning, and what kind of ice cream you would like to get). Writing the steps is great practice for planning school projects and homework! More complex outings will require more planning; perhaps divide this up if you have more than one child involved. Executive functions utilized:  planning, organization, time management, working memory, emotional control, sustained attention, goal directed persistence, flexibility.

Cooking/Baking – Following a recipe is a great way to exercise the executive functions. And bonus! Math skills! The steps are already determined, but gathering ingredients and utensils, working with a timer (if necessary), deciding how much to make (doubling or halving definitely uses math), what size serving dish or bowls are needed – all of these can help your child use their executive function muscles. And think about the self esteem boost that comes from completing something delicious! Executive functions utilized: planning, organization, time management, working memory, emotional control, sustained attention, goal directed persistence, flexibility.

Crafts – there are so many different crafts, I couldn’t begin to list them all here. Crafting involves having a vision of what you would like the end result to be, and then determining the steps and materials that are needed to get there. So for example, if your child wanted to create a painting (assuming they have paint in the house), they would first have to decide what they would like their painting to look like. Planning backwards (and again, writing the tasks down), the steps would include putting on a smock, finding paper, paints, brushes and water, spreading newspaper on the table for spills, perhaps drawing the picture first, painting, and then cleaning up. After that, they can gather the materials (discussing these first is also good planning practice) and follow the steps to create their own Mona Lisa!  Executive functions utilized: planning, organization, time management, working memory, emotional control, sustained attention, goal directed persistence, flexibility.

These are just a few examples of how your child can continue their executive function development over the summer. So next time your child is “bored to pieces,” pull out that recipe book or paintbrush, and give those executive functions some exercise!

My Prime Days Picks For ADHDers!

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Prime Days are here! (July 16 and 17). Here are some products that I think are great for ADHDers and people with executive function struggles. Many are kid related – back to school is not too far away – but a few are for adults and/or kids. Happy Shopping!

POPRUN Magnetic Weekly Dry Erase Calendar

What makes this particular dry erase calendar a favorite? I love that you can write in the times of day on the left side. This enables you, and your family, to see exactly how the day will look. Dentist from 3pm to 4pm? It’ll be blocked out. White space? Ah, that’s free time! Helping those with time blindness actually see time is such a benefit. https://amzn.to/4bLKFLe

Essex Wares Classroom Pocket Chart

I’m harkening back to my teaching days to recommend this pocket chart. This is a great tool to use for morning or evening routines – list the steps (or better yet, take pictures of your child completing the steps), and when they finish each task, they can turn the card over. Kind of low tech, I know, but that tactile zing one gets when turning over that card is very satisfying! Adults can use it too, it’s great for tasks with a few or several steps that are completed (when we remember) over time – yes, laundry, I’m looking at you! https://amzn.to/3zKojwq

Storage Cubes with Windows and Hooks

And speaking of laundry…it’s possibly the biggest challenge I come across the most with my clients. Hate doing it, hate starting it, can’t move clothes from washer to dryer….and the biggest issue, putting the clothes away. I’m a big believer in making the system work for you, not the other way around. So, two ideas: first, put hooks in your closet, and use them for items that you’d like hung up, but loathe the thought of putting them on hangers. And second, does everything need to be folded? Nope! Underwear, socks, maybe tee shirts and workout clothes, can all just be tossed into one of these fabulous storage cubes. The window lets you see what lives there. It also enables a heads up as to when you are running out of underwear.  https://amzn.to/4cIbAJp https://amzn.to/3LohhAb

Weewooday Cube 15-20-30-60 Flip Timer

A fun variation on the kitchen timer, this flip cube gives you four minute options. Just flip it to the time you want, and off it goes. Great for “Can I have 15 more minutes, Mom?” as well as “I need to leave in 30 minutes.” Comes in several colors, I just like the pink 🙂  https://amzn.to/4f5Tker

Kick Bands

These bands are awesome for kids – and adults – who are more focused when they are performing some type of movement (studies have shown this to be an effective strategy for ADHDers). Simply place the band around the legs of any chair, and you’ve created a spot for quiet, unobtrusive foot bouncing. These have been used in classrooms for ages. Is it time to get some for homework time? Or meal times? https://amzn.to/3xPYb2O 

Blue Ginkgo Multipurpose Caddy Organizer

While it’s helpful for your child to have a specific area in which to do homework (or for you to have a home office that you can use consistently), there are times when a refresh can be helpful (she says as she types this in her husband’s office). Having the basic supplies in a caddy that can be carried easily makes that transition from the bedroom to the kitchen table quick and painless…with less time to get distracted. https://amzn.to/4d3lyVn

Paperage Lined Journal Notebook
Last but not least, a reasonably priced lined notebook. This can be used for…anything, really. A bullet journal, to do list, doodling space, gratitude journal, meeting notes. I have one that I use as a gratitude journal, and one that I use as my brain dump, a parking lot for everything in my head until I move it to my more actionable task app. Comes in tons of colors, the paper is smooth, and at this price, no guilt if you change up your task management plan. https://amzn.to/3xZg8f9 

What items do you find are indispensable? I’d love to hear from you!

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Associate, and have an affiliate relationship with Amazon.

The Case For Letting Kids Be Kids This Summer

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It’s summer. Either your kids’ school has put a “See you in September” sign on the front lawn, or they’re about to.

And there is nothing, nothing at all, like that last day of school feeling! A lot of us have forgotten how it feels to be completely, deliciously free. When I was a teacher, I was able to have that experience again, and it is truly unmatched.

But wait….here comes Mom with a Math workbook. Or Dad with a schedule for summer Phonics tutoring. And that glorious feeling just leaks away, leaving disappointment and sadness in its place.

ADHD kids often live through this scenario, summer after summer. If they struggled during the school year, due to challenges with focus, or executive function woes, they may be behind. And their well meaning parents want them to get caught up, before the new year brings new challenges.

As a retired teacher, and ADHD coach, and as a parent, I’m going to say something that some may consider revolutionary-even crazy.

Let your kids have time to just be kids this summer.

Now that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t do some activities related to academics. But maybe we can rethink how we go about it. Sort like sneaking kale into a mango smoothie.

For example-Math workbooks? Ugh, deadly. How about reviewing those multiplication facts during a catch outside? Fractions with cooking? Subtraction with how many more miles do we need to travel? Division with which is the better deal at the grocery store?

For more complex topics, check out the teachers’ savior site, teacherspayteacher.com. You can input your child’s grade level and topic, and there will be games, projects, mazes-lots more fun than a workbook, I promise.

Similarly, we can change our mindset about summer reading. Saying to our kiddos “You need to do your summer reading! Get started right now!” is not exactly the way to instill a love of reading in our children. But maybe offering to read the same book as they do, and having a book club with them will be more enticing. Or taking notes on what they read with pictures. Or a promise to watch the movie that is based on the book. All ways to sweeten the summer reading pot.

Watching “Hamilton” for American History. Trying foods of different cultures, with each family member picking a country and telling the rest of the gang about it. Looking at leaves under a microscope. You get the idea.

There are many ways to jazz up learning, with tons of ideas on the internet. That leaves one more point though.

Kids also need time to not be working on their school subjects, or organizational skills, or even camp or sports (and yes, I know that kids do love camp and sports).

Kids need time to just BE.

They need time to choose their activities (even if it’s video games), to wear their pj’s late into the morning, maybe even all day. To dig in the sand even if they are “too old” for that,  to go lie under a tree and watch the ants carry pieces of rock many times their weight. To have sleepovers with friends or siblings or cousins, staying up all night giggling, without worrying about needing to get up early to do five worksheets on exponents.

Unlimited time? No. But some time? Most definitely.  Depending on their schedule, and yours.

Those kid brains have earned a break. And our creative ADHD children need time to just think their own thoughts.

Let’s let our kiddos have that amazing last day of school feeling, for just a little longer. They need it – and they deserve it.

Quit “Shoulding” On Yourself!

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How often do you think that you should be able to accomplish a particular task? Or that you should do….insert activity that might be good for you but that you don’t currently do?

Here are some examples:

I should be able to figure out my monthly expenses, what is wrong with me?

I should go to the gym more, what is wrong with me?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I should be able to remember something that simple, what is wrong with me?

My mentor coach would call this “shoulding on yourself.” 

The word should, per the Oxford English Dictionary, is “used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.” In other words, should is a judgment word. To “indicate…correctness” implies that if you don’t do what you should, you are incorrect. In the wrong. Even the definition tells us it’s used typically to criticize.

And for ADHDers, there can be lots of shoulds. And lots of self criticism.

But wait a minute, you say. Aren’t there things we really should do?

Of course there are. We should drive sober. We should pay our taxes. We should call our mothers on Mother’s Day, and dads on Father’s Day.

So when SHOULD we use should? And when is should akin to a four letter word?

The way I look at it is this: I feel that should can be reserved for absolutes. For rules, laws, socially acceptable customs – in other words, situations where there is no judgment involved, because it’s pretty black and white.

But when it’s not a rule, using should kind of makes it a rule. And then if we don’t do something, we’ve broken that rule-and we go down the rabbit hole of shame.

How about, when it’s not a rule, we use “want?” Let’s try it.

I want to be able to figure out my monthly expenses, but I’m not sure how. Maybe I’ll ask someone for help.

I want to go to the gym more, what can I do to get there consistently?

Everyone else remembered to call Sue on her birthday, I want to be able to remember something that simple. What can I do to make this happen?

“Should” makes it a rule, and invites embarrassment and shame. “Want” makes it a desire, and invites action.

So here’s a little assignment: try to notice when you say you should do something. And if you do catch yourself, replace should with “want to,” and see how different that vibe is.

It will probably make you want to stop shoulding all over yourself!

Food For Thought….About Food

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Food and eating – a big topic during ADHD coaching sessions.

The questions about eating run the gamut – from looking for information about what foods positively, or negatively, impact ADHD, to addressing supplement use to mitigate ADHD symptoms in place of medication, to impulsivity with eating. There are also issues around food, like ADHD kiddos being unable to sit at the dinner table, or children raiding the snack cabinet at 4am.

Food is a big part of our lives. And having ADHD can add an entire layer of challenges and questions.

Here’s the thing: having grown up with what today would quite possibly be diagnosed as disordered eating, I am well aware of how careful we must be when addressing challenges relating to food. The last thing we want is for our kids-or ourselves-to feel bad or wrong because appetites spike when meds wear off, or because the sensory issues that often accompany ADHD makes the thought of eating eggs akin to torture.

I don’t want to mess this up. So, I called in the experts.

I worked with a very helpful and knowledgeable registered dietitian  (by the way, do you know the difference between a dietitian and a nutritionist? I do now!), to develop a list of questions to gauge dietitians’ general philosophies on food and body image, and their experiences with neurodivergent populations, with specific attention to ADHD and concurrent eating issues.

I am happy to say that the dietitians whom I contacted were very eager to chat with me, to discuss their views on food, diet, body image, ADHD, and sensory challenges, and to use their expertise and experience with neurodivergent folks to aid struggling ADHDers with navigating their eating journeys. These professionals brought a new perspective that was really interesting, and would be so helpful for ADHDers dealing with eating related challenges.

I am including their names and contact information below.

If you are interested in doing your own research to find a registered dietician that can meet your particular needs, including being ADHD informed, or is local to you, I’d be happy to share my question list with you. Just reach out!

Help is out there if you or your child is struggling with food related challenges, including those that are connected to ADHD. I strongly suggest calling in the experts, and getting the professional support you need, and deserve.

Registered Dietitians:

Tracy Colin, MS, RD
My Food, My Choice LLC
https://myfoodmychoicenutrition.com
tracy@myfoodmychoicenutrition.com
848-228-2046

Eliza Hiberlein, RDN
https://www.elizaheberleinrd.com/
ElizaHeberlein@elizaheberleinrd.com
732-978-9137

Andie Schwartz, M.ED, RDN, CLC, CSCS, NCSA-CPT. RYT
ABS Nutrition and Fitness
https://www.absnutritionandfitness.com/
andie@absnutritionandfitness.com
856-292-5355

Stephanie Van’t Zelfden, RDN, CIEC
Nutrition Hungry
https://www.nutritionhungry.com/
stephanie@nutritionhungry.com
856-320-5100

If You Don’t Know The Basic Science Behind ADHD, You Need to Learn It

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When I do an initial intake with a new client, one of the questions I ask is “What would you like to learn about your ADHD?”  It’s a pretty broad question, and most responses center around wanting to learn how to be more productive, or how to organize their lives.

At that point, I ask, “How much do you know about the brain science behind your ADHD?”

The majority say they don’t know anything, or very little. The word dopamine is bandied about a bit. And most surprisingly, when I ask if they would like to know more, most say, “I don’t really need to.”

Oh, but you do. You really, really do.

I’m not talking about becoming a neuropsychologist, or obtaining the knowledge that your psychiatrist has. But having a basic understanding of what physically makes your brain different, and how that impacts your life, is, in my opinion, essential. 

First, it is vital to understand that there are physical differences between the ADHD brain and the neurotypical brain. It is not being lazy, or dumb, or anything behavioral. Comprehending that concept opens up an entire world for those of you who have been chastising yourselves about not trying harder. Or just not getting over it.

Would you berate yourself because you haven’t tried harder to see better, if you are a glasses wearer? Of course not. And just because this is a brain related disorder does not make it any less physical.

Repeat that to yourself a few times.

Secondly, I’m not sure how one can make a well informed decision about symptom management if they don’t understand what is causing the symptoms to begin with.

Let’s take an example from my running life. Let’s say I have a pain in my knee. In order to decide how to handle that, (Rest? Ice? New running shoes? Surgery?) I need to understand what may have happened that resulted in this pain before I can decide what I need to do next.

With ADHD, having a working comprehension of what is causing symptoms can help us to make solid treatment decisions. Knowing that my brain has lower dopamine might lead me to use medication to offset that. Understanding that the areas of my brain that control my emotional responses are different than those belonging to neurotypicals might convince me to try meditation to help with regulating my responses.

Deciding on one’s symptom management without having a basic understanding of what is causing the symptoms is like wearing a bikini on a sunny day…in February. You just don’t have all the facts to make an informed decision.

Finally, having a basic working knowledge of how your brain is different enables you to set up your life in ways that support you.

Dopamine low? Let’s make things more fun to get us going! Executive functions negatively impacted? Maybe an accountability buddy or group can help keep us on track. Fight or flight activated quickly? Perhaps I need to let my significant other know this can happen.

I don’t mean to imply that the ADHD brain is wrong, or broken, or just not effective. Not at all. But it IS different. And providing yourself with that knowledge is a gift of self awareness, and part of the ADHD toolbox for living your best life.