Why Won’t My Kid Do Homework??

Among my clients past and present, one of the biggest issues seems to be homework. Not just for younger kids – this extends from the elementary grades, all the way through college.

It would be difficult to find a kid who LIKES homework (excluding fun projects). But ADHD kiddos in particular seem to have an aversion to assignments that outmatches their neurotypical peers. Why is that?

  • Lack of dopamine – completing homework generally does not give someone a major dopamine boost. In ADHDers, whose dopamine is already compromised, this makes doing homework less attractive than…well, almost anything. Homework is boring!
  • Reward system differences/time blindnesskids with ADHD don’t respond to negative consequences as a motivator. This means that telling your child “if you don’t do your homework you will fail the class” doesn’t have the impact it would have on a neurotypical child. Furthermore, due to time management executive function challenges, using a future impact to convince an ADHD child to do their work is ineffective. ADHDers tend to have two time periods: now, and some other time. And some other time is vague and not really a factor.
  • Additional work due to incomplete class assignments – ADHD kiddos, whether due to lack of focus, lack of interest, or not attending to/understanding directions, can have difficulty completing classwork during the class period.They may then be tasked with completing the work at home. This is not given instead of homework; it is added to the homework load. So ADHD kids can, on any given night, have double the workload of neurotypical children.
  • Challenges with planning and organization many kids – and adults – with ADHD lack the ability to plan and organize their assignments. This is due to executive function weaknesses, including non-verbal working memory challenges. So when your child comes home, all they see is this massive mountain called Homework, which they find intimidating. Avoidance is a natural response to this.
  • Not knowing what they need to do – with my clients, I have found that every teacher has their own way of disseminating information. Some use Google Classroom. Some expect students to copy homework assignments from the board, into their planners. Some yell out, at the end of class, “do the problems on page 9 for homework!” This inconsistency is anathema to a child that already has issues with organization. 

So yes, there are real reasons relating to your child’s ADHD for being less than thrilled about homework. But homework exists anyway. What can we do?

Here are some strategies to try with your ADHD kiddo, gleaned from my years as both a teacher, and an ADHD coach:

1 – Speak to the child’s teacher(s) – if your child is struggling with getting their homework done in a reasonable amount of time, or if your family’s wellbeing is being challenged by nightly homework battles, your first stop is the teacher. There is no way for the teacher to know what goes on after school without someone telling them. If your child is older, they can have a conversation with the teacher. Advocating for themselves is a life skill they will need as they get older.

2 – Help your child plan out their homework – Every day, have an adult (you or someone else) sit down with your child to develop a plan for getting their assignments done. This means going through Google Classroom (if being used), notebooks, and planners to see what has been assigned and when it is due. Be sure to ask your child if they have any additional classwork to finish up. If your child is older, it is still important for them to complete this planning stage. Perhaps emailing it to you is a good way to have accountability without your direct participation.


3 – For larger assignments, help your child plan out the steps to completion – This includes determining what actions are necessary (so, rather than putting “book cover” on your list, include a verb like “draw book cover”), and creating deadlines for each step. Again, having your older child do this and emailing it to you works well. This is basically outsourcing non-verbal working memory.

4 – Designate a space for your child to do their homework – This does not have to be a desk in their room; in fact, being away from everyone may lead to turning to other, more dopamine producing activities (aka videogames). Setting up at the kitchen table consistently can work, as long as there isn’t a ton of distractions and activity.

5 – No screens before or during homework – Many of us feel sorry for our kids, and want to let them have a little fun before going back to work. However, once they are on their phones or watching TV we have lost them, and the pull back to homework becomes substantially more painful. Screentime, in whatever form you choose, can be the reward for homework completion; it is not necessary or advisable before or during homework time.

6 – Try body doubling with your kid – Body doubling, an extremely successful ADHD strategy, involves working at the same time, in the same place (in person or virtually) as someone else, but not directly working with them. So, for example, sitting at the kitchen table while your kid does homework, you can be paying bills, doing your own work, or even just reading. It helps to keep both parties on track. You can do this with your college student on Zoom – bonus points for having contact with your kid!

There are many, many more strategies living in my ADHD Homework toolbox – these are just a few to get you started. Please reach out if you need more help!

 

We Are Under Attack!

Last week, I attended the International Conference on ADHD. It was great to see coaching friends in person, to meet new people, and to learn so many new things. All three keynote speakers were truly inspiring, imparting information and motivation.

One common thread for all three speeches related to the current situation neurodiverse people are facing, due to a variety of policy and personnel changes in the Federal government. In case you are not aware of these challenges, here is a brief summary (if you know the issues, you can head down to the Call To Action):

Department of Education/Office of Special Education: The Trump administration has expressed its intention to close the Department of Education. Since this can only take place through an act of Congress, the Department’s staff is being critically reduced, and plans have been announced to move various departments to other agencies. These actions will hamper oversight of compliance with IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), which protects the rights of disabled students. It also can impact administration and protection of Section 504, under which many students with ADHD receive vital accommodations.

Additionally, Office of Special Education staff has been significantly decreased. This endangers distribution of funding for special education programs at schools. There have also been discussions of moving OSEP to the Department of Health and Human Services, which smacks of looking at special education students as being impaired, versus different.

Evidence – Based Care/Treatment of ADHD:  There have been many, many studies on ADHD that show that a multi-modal approach to treatment – medication, therapy, educational and work supports – is the best practice when it comes to addressing ADHD. However, the MAHA commission established by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., has cast doubt on these studies and treatments. MAHA’s approach could impact the availability of medication for ADHD and other mental health challenges, as well as cause issues with insurance coverage for treatments. The shortage of ADHD medication in recent years has been incredibly difficult for those that rely on medication to do their work, drive safely, and live life to the fullest. One can only imagine how reducing access to medication altogether would impact the ADHD community.

Call To Action!

Do the issues summarized above make you anxious? Frustrated? Angry? Is the thought of your child being unable to get their medication, or having difficulties at school because of programs being erased, something that you do not want to stand for?

After listening to the keynote speakers at the conference, I am ready to fight.

There are simple ways to make your opinion known to your Federal representatives. While you may think that this is ineffective, I can tell you, as a former constituent liaison for a state representative, letters, emails, and phone calls are logged. So while every word you write may not matter, just the act of writing does. We need to show our representatives that access to evidence based care and a protective environment for our neurodiverse children matters!

The CHADD Advocacy Center (https://chadd.org/adhd-advocacy-action-center/) is set up for extremely easy access to your representatives. They supply a template for emails on a variety of important topics. When you insert your name and address, your email is automatically routed to your representative. It takes literally two minutes.

I know that having one more task on your plate is exactly what you don’t want. So here are a few strategies to help out:

  • Set an alarm/reminder for a somewhat less busy time during your day.
  • Have Siri/Alexa remind you to “stand up for the rights of ADHDers!”
  • Stack sending emails with another existing habit (“before I brush my teeth I will…”)
  • Hop on the CHADD site while doing something else that you enjoy (“I will listen to this podcast only if I am also contacting my senator!”)
  • Gamify it – how many emails can you send in one week? Set up a contest with a friend or family member. (It is okay to send it over and over, again, numbers matter!
  • Think about your future self – will FutureYou want you to ignore this issue, and leave them without meds??
  • Ponder your values – who do you want to be in relation to this issue? Do you believe that all people are entitled to the assistance that will help them live a good life?

I urge you to not sit on the sidelines. Use that ADHD sense of justice and fairness, and your creativity and compassion, to propel you towards action. For you, for me, for all of us.